sugarsugar

2011-08-05T20:56:00.003+08:00

Eight months passed by us, literally in a blink of eye. Gone are the days when we worry over our big Alevels. But now we're about to face the next stage of life/education. What are things like? Will we be alright? Do we have enough time? Are we good enough? Can we make it? All these uncertainties are similar, resurfacing upon us yet again. I'm more scared than excited to embark on this path of life. I used to dream about how fun university will, how I can experience this once in a lifetime adulthood. But now I'm just cynical and scared. Fear, fear of not being good enough, fear of being judged, fear of not being able to have the fun I yearned for, fear of things going wrong. I know fearing does no good, and I have to embrace life. But am I really up for it? Well, I don't exactly have a choice and I guess time will tell. But as the days get nearer and nearer to the start of school, I began to doubt my theory. My awesome theory of whoever and whatever that comes in university will just be add ons to the great people and things that had happened to me. Cause when I came out with the theory I forgot about the fact that those great people are going to have their own sets of add ons. And maybe I won't be part of their great people anymore. Those great things may turn into memories that can't be brought back. Things happen, and people change. Whatever it is, somehow, I need to beable to learn to take it, and I'll grow. No biggie.

2011-07-22T21:08:00.003+08:00

Hi blog, i need an avenue to vent my sudden burst of hate, anger and sadness. I dont wanna go to anyone because everyone is all over themselves and thats what im sick of. I'm sick of people rambling about their lives. Everyone keeps going on and on and on about this and that and this and that of their lives which i dont give two crap about. I mean yes i get it, you think your life is awesome but i dont give a shit. Hello its not as if you're the only one with a life. Its not like only you you you and you have stories to tell. WHY DOES EVERYONE CARES ABOUT THEMSELVES SO MUCH? Why the fuck must i care about your lives when you know nothing about mine?! LIKE OKAY SURE GO ON TELL YOUR STORIES AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN ARENT YOU SICK OF YOURSELF?! And the point is everyone is behaving the same way. Everyone wants the same attention. Everyone's fighting for it. I'm sick and tired of everyone being like this. Sometimes i wonder why can't someone, anyone just ask me if i'm okay. If i will be okay. If i can be okay. Nobody ever does. Everyone's too busy making sure they are alright, they're fine, they're happy, they're comfortable, they're good. Why is everyone so selfish? We are our top priority, everyone elses are beneath our needs and wants and worries and troubles. But we expect other people to care about us. But has anyone stop and look around? Nobody cares. Nofuckingbody is genuine. Oh wait i think everyone's too busy proving themselves, there isnt even time for this discovery.

2011-05-18T11:04:00.001+08:00

As we grow older, we fight lesser. Gah, why do I sound like an old woman? Or rather why am I making myself sound like one. I keep telling people that I'm in this phase that is call, or so called, mid-life crisis. I'm not exaggerating, I literally feel restless and lifeless and.. Old. I know I'm still too young to be in this mid-life emergency thing and to many, I mean really many many, I'm just a young naive stupid girl, but I can't help it if I feel sick and tired and bored of this super routine and borrrrrrrrring working life! Honestly, if it is not for the... Too good to be true(ironically, it is real though) pay, I'd have quit like, after the first month. While it is already my 3rd and a half month here. How I wish July will be here and I'd be carefree as hell, finally enjoying my long overdue well deserved shorrrrt break. So i digress(whats new) Anyway, I kinda miss those petty, senseless, silly fights that kids used to have. I mean now nobody fights anymore. No one. We don't go through the whole cycle of fight, cold war, kiss-and-make-up phase. I don't know, maybe it's because I have a secret fetish for war, I always think that friendships without fighting is not strong enough. Like if you haven't been through the downside and hardship together, always riding the high road, how'd you know how tight this relationship is? But people don't ever fight anymore, well at least people around me. Not at all. Everything is so peaceful its boring and redundant. The older we get, the higher the chances for us to skip the actual kiss-and-make-up period. Yeah, maybe people fight, oh yeah they do. But after the fight and maybe a little while of a cold war, we go back into pretending the fight and whatsafter did not happened and act like everything is fine, which its not. I get why people dislike confrontations, trust me, I do. But does running away from the problem help in any way? Nope, I don't think so. How ever long can we run away from those resentment? Why can't people just talk it out? Why do we choose the easy way out that does no good to us in the long run? Maybe we are afraid. Afraid of losing, afraid of being the party that is unreasonable, afraid of confrontations, afraid of people taking sides and going against you, afraid of.... Uncertainties that follow. Yeah I'm too, scared of uncertainties and new things. Like the whole new university thing, a brand new start again. Although I'm so sick and tired of this mundane life, sometimes I still wonder if I'm ready to leap into the new world yet. Oh well oh.

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2011-04-06T09:20:00.001+08:00

I'm so bored now. I don't think the intensity of the word bored is enough to describe what I am feeling right now. I feel so bb now- beyond bored. I need to open up my Bis as wireless, whats the computer geek term? Make my bb(blackberry) a router or modem or something so that my itouch can make full use of itself(with my current Greek obsession, youtube is The Queen(Oh yeah I'm sexist-queens supposedly give birth to future kings, so tell me who's the boss(OH GOD IM CREATING BRACKETS IN BRACKETS) Tina's brother need to get back into hellhole army to find out the ways to open up my bb connection because i'm hopeless. I guess that is hopeless too, who would wanna go back to hellhole after their escapade? I'm hopeless because my supposedly it pro friend who said we can ask him to solve any it related problem told me that it is not possible for bb to open up our internet, while Iphone can. I hope hes wrong because i really do not want my love for bb to be dampen, yet again. So I shall do some research on that, oh i love google, later on. After I'm done with the research on Fan Forum Spoilers. Yup, I'm majoring in Mainstream Theater Arts in the new semester. If only such a course is offered, I'd ace it, for sureeeee. Actually I do enjoy penning down my thoughts. If only theres Angsty genre, I'd be an awesome writer(dont tell me theres, I'm still a strong believer in 'ignorance is bliss') But then again there are many more extreme angsty little brats out there, who are better, much much better. Oh why oh why, why am I so mainstream and average?

Oh yeah, talking about the new semester, university acceptance where are youuuuuuuu? Seriously I'm quite sick of people asking me if I have received any. Its like it is not even in my mind at all, until someone pop that annoying question then my mind start this crazy-
"Oh i'm not good enough again"
"Holy shit, what if i'm not accepted?"
"Did i make the right choice?"
Just try imagine a brain being twisted. Pretty twisted huh. If you actually tried imagine that, i think you need help, too.

FUN FACT!
In a real world, a lunch date is actually a lunch appointment. Oh god why must everything sound so darn formal and.. arrogant? Real world, you're not my cup of tea. I'm so not ready to grow up and get out of my tiny land.

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2011-03-16T12:43:00.001+08:00

So i survived The Day. Although we skipped the whole presentation, hence we freed ourselves from the the intense torturing where Ms Lai show off her black and white slides with just words- not even fancy fonts. These are all assumptions since by the time we reached the hall, most teachers were done giving out the results. The journey, from airport to school, was however pretty gross. I still feel uneasy thinking about it. I guess i need to thank that annoying call from yk at 2.40ish(which i refuse to answer) for reminding me to shut the world out- by switching vibration off and dumping my phone into my bag and not checking. At all. I think that was the only hour in my life that I have my phone within reach yet have the discipline to not touch it. To be frank, i was so tempted to just get down at whitesands and head home. I know, I'm not very brave and the self denial genes are pretty much a huge part of me, its actually most of me. Anyway, I guess i did alright but now theres this gigantic question mark tagging along with me.

Nobody told me that its going to be this hard. What a messss

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2011-03-04T01:08:00.001+08:00

The direction idiot needs directions
Sigh oh sigh. I wanted to began with the fact that tomorrow is The Day, little did i realized that i've been stoning and doing nothing and The Day had arrived. Currently The Day is like my world, my whole head and mind and heart is filled with thoughts of it. Scary ones and really traumatizing ones. I'd rather go back to Chung Cheng. Being late with bitch, not knowing anything just lining up and tadaaa, you got your results slip in your hands. And then theres the grand opening of slip scene, and then some stoning, and more stoning. And even more stoning. Then you realized you're actually not good enough. And there are joy and tears around you but all you can do is just stone with an empty mind. And then we see people everywhere, all sad. I guess it is probably because i was sad, so i assumed everyone to be sad and i view them as sad little creatures. And then there was alot of crying with the bimbos in the concourse and screaming at random little nubs staring at us. And skipping work just for sinful jack's place. I'd rather do that all over again. I know all the disappointment felt won't sum up to as much as what i might feel later on the day. The thought of it literally send chills to my spine. There are so many what ifs running through my mind that i dont even want to think about, i dont even want to list them out, i actually want to run away from my own thoughts. I need to get away, from everyone and everything and be alone. But i'm afraid of being alone. Okay abrupt end before i complain about how i always get lead on again. Why can't everyone be like me a make a clear stand? Its either all or nothing, don't leave things hanging. And this is why people like me need closure, it's because of people like you. OKAY STOP WHY AM I WHINING ABOUT SUCH UNIMPORTANT ISSUES ON THE DAY. I know i need to sleep but i'm not going to because i'm filled with depressing energies and because of you and i know thats stupid but i'm still doing it anyway. No, i'm going to sleep. Soon.

2011-02-18T10:10:00.001+08:00

So I'm actually back to blogging thanks to this job. Awesome, anyway I'm going get an itouch first, instead of a camera. And this sudden change is partially thanks to this job. Well first off I suppose it is mostly due to the fact that the March/April Bangkok trip is on hold till future notice(I do hope the future is not referring to forever D:) Thus I suppose there isn't an urgent need to actually get a new workable camera anytime soon. And also the fact that there is too much choices on the market and that being the lazy bum I'm, i refuse to actually do any decent research on which affordable camera is good enough to capture my awesome life. I just want one that is sustainable, not like the previous one which supposedly died due to freezation(?) You know like starvation, temptation and starvation. Yup, I'm pretty much brain dead as of right now. And i suppose my deskmates are wondering why am i actually typing a bunch of chunks out. Cause due to my usual lazy self, i don't actually type. Since I'm using a lappy and as I'm pretty protective of my precious eyes, the lappy is pushed as far as possible from me so typing is out of the question as I have to reach out to do the deed. Yes, it require alot of effort at my end. So most of the time i use the mouse, scroll and find what i need and then i do the copy and paste act. Yup welcome to my life and and since it is not possible for me to get access to blogger, I'm going to email myself and then send this out through my awesome blackberry. Did i mention thank god for my bb? But apparently it is not enough because I'm bored to death still. And thats when the itouch come into the picture. Anyway, I'm slowly getting into the realization that I'm spending too much and that i should cut down on my flea trips.(That is only after the constant nagging from my mum regarding the amount of clothes that I bring home nearly every Saturday) Thats pretty much where all my impulsive and unnecessary expenditure went to. But fleaing makes me a happy girl. I get excited every single weekend because i think of the awesome flea and i get disappointed when it actually isn't a good flea or when all the clothes suck. It have the ability to change my mood drastically. Ohwell, I guess its time to find a cheaper hobby, soooooon. Anyway, I think im really typing too much and it is getting suspicious, so till then.
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2011-02-17T17:55:00.001+08:00

So I'm writing random lyrics down on my notebook during work. This is simply awesome, if only I'm those irresponsible people who don't feel guilty slacking. Cause I subconsciously feel guilty and then I feel bad and sad and bored and it makes me feel really tired. Anyway writing lyrics down isn't the happiest activity on earth. Its pretty emo nemo and all these are making me depressed. Which reminds me, I took a quick quiz over at msn.com(CAN YOU IMAGINE HAVING MSN, EBUBBY, TUMBLR, TWITTER, FACEBOOK, YOUTUBE, DRAMACRAZY, BLOGGER BLOCKED ON THE LAPTOP? I'M LEFT WITH LIKE MSN HOROSCOPE AND NEWS. Oh thank god for fml, no thank god for my bb.) Okay I digress, so anyway, the quiz is some sort like are you sad or depress and impressively after answering like 5 short questions they announced that I'm more sad than depressed! Yay its better to be sad than depressed right? Like people dont go therapy because they are sad, they go only when they are depressed. Oh I love my logic ha ha ha. So 8 more minutes till I be the first person to rush out of the office(YET AGAIN BUT WHO CARES) for some changi village delights<: I shall use the remaining time to search for fun personality quizzes now ha ha ha

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2011-02-14T23:56:00.005+08:00

International Fake Day.So i told myself that i will not reply to any mass sent text i received. But on second thought, since its friendship week and valentine's day, i should try to do luv instead. Anyway, vday was spent laughing at insults hurled everywhere. Only had the energy to laugh after a long crazily boring day at work, lets not even go there before i start my rant and whining about wanting to quit, which i suppose i will not since it is really an easy source of income for my future overseas trips and flea splurges.(BUT I REALLY FEEL LIKE QUITTING) Can't say i spent vday with my favourite people on earth but they are decent and laughter is the key sooooo yeah. I'm tired and i really think my brain need a break(no this is not an excuse) I need to stop thinking of what to do, i need to stop thinking of what are happening and what are the reasons behind, i need to stop overthinking about everything and nothing. I need to let myself free, i need to let myself get lost. Just lost, i need to know i don't have to know everything. I need to stop figuring things out. So my bb is not even half charged yet but i need to sleep. Need to figure a way out to drag myself out of bed for work tomorrow's morning(10bucksiwillfallsick,ahem)

2011-01-28T20:55:00.005+08:00

I only like the idea of falling in love.

I'm still on my way to finding my perfect bad boy. Sometimes i think i set out a standard that is so high, it is not even realistic. Cause Chuck Bass only exist in gossip girl. I think i secretly don't believe in love and i might have commitment issues. I need a Chuck Bass who is smart enough to play mind games with me and let me feel secure without spilling them out in words. Or being too obvious. I think that i never find that someone even till i aged and die off. I also think that i should lock my blog because i blabber too much. But i know only i'm reading this and i guess its alright. Dear future jassie, i hope you find this funny because it sound so young and immature. Because i know that i don't like this current state and i do not want things to remain this way.

2011-01-21T16:42:00.001+08:00

Leo 21 January 2011
Friendship, and all relationships in fact, are built on a foundation. That foundation is made up of trust, honesty, faithfulness, candor, discretion, hope, and love. But it also includes mistakes, regrets, conflicts, and lapses in judgment. There are many, many things that go into building a strong, solid relationship. It doesn't happen overnight. You may be in the midst of building something with someone now. It's an important person - one who could really have a positive impact on your world. A recent event involving this person may have angered or upset you. Let it go. It was just one brick in the wall.

What is horoscope? Is it really true? So does it mean that all leos are going through the phrase? What about the bullcrap about the new sign? What is the real deal? I have so many questions, so many so many of them. If only they can be answered. If only I can find my way to the answers. If only there is an angel or a machine out there to make a loud 'DEEEEEE' and reject all my wrong decisions and choices. Isn't life scary? Every choices we had made in the past mould what we are today. Every decision sets a chain reaction. I'm superstition so I rest my piece here.

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2011-01-19T13:59:00.010+08:00

Talk is cheap.

I'm currently at work and because of the new influx of newbies, I'm able to actually stone and wait for calls to come. Funny how it is not the callers that are waiting to be assisted now. Not that this is a bad thing but this newly available option is making me doubt if tendering my resignation is a wrong choice. This job is pretty much bearable minus those annoying callers, blacklisted ones, know-it-alls, screwed up mindset of customers are always right, disputes and annoying manager. But all those are a huge part of this job, thus in conclusion, I've made the right choice<: Can't wait for 28, can't wait for a new fun job! More than anything, can't wait to laze at home.

So anyway, I realized its time for me to stop being so naïve and to stop living in ignorance. Sometimes I bought disasters upon myself simply because I can't accept the truth. Its time to learn how to accept reality, move on and face the music.

I gave you a chance, you gave it back to me. So don't expect another, don't even think about it

2011-01-15T01:18:00.001+08:00

What up with the "Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!"? The exclamation mark is making my post sound like a joke.

Sent via BlackBerry from SingTel!

2011-01-15T01:14:00.000+08:00

I need to blog. I need a revenue for me to explode into many little pieces. I need to be less wishy washy. I need to know my boundaries. I need to set my boundaries and not let my mood affect it. I need to know I should not do this in the mrt cause I might breakdown like the girl across(no joke I guess today's world pms day across the board) I realize I need some alone me time to do soul searching and to actually laze around doing nothing. Tomorrow shall be that day.
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2010-12-04T14:35:00.001+08:00

Theres a fine line between good and bad.
Theres a fine line between nice and fake.
Theres a fine line between pampered and spoilt.
Theres a fine line between love and hate.
Theres a fine line between smart and hardworking.
Theres a fine line between friendly and flirty.
Theres a fine line between expectation and reality.
Theres a fine line between good friends and bff.
Theres a fine line between truth and inflated ones.
Theres a fine line between dreams and wishful thinking.

Rule of thumb, don't cross the line.(Or at least for most cases)
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2010-11-27T21:22:00.003+08:00

Lists are cool shit.

I dont get how people find lists dorky. Its actually fun and useful and take time and effort for all the things jumbled up in the world to fall together into place(or the list in this case) I love lists, they inspire me. Well, just not school's to-do lists, those are just plain annoying. Lets all be listers and the world might be a better place. Like when those big days are near, we can have wishlists then we don't need to be afraid of making place in the room to chuck whatnot in the corner of the room. Cliche as it may sound, new year's resolutions seem like a really good way to start afresh. Shopping lists not only save time, it prevent screw up due to bad memory.

Things that make me feel ugly:

#1: Short.

#2: Chipped nails.

#3: Bare forehead.

#4: Spectacles.

#5: Fats.

#6: Being stoned.

#7: Stupid teeth.

#8: Awkwardness.

#9: Being scanned from head to toes.

#10: Bare nails.

#11: Underdressed among overdressed people.

#12: FLAT HAIR UGH

#13: SWEAT UGH

I can go on forever(actually i can't, I'm just lazy to crack my head for more)

Things that make me feel pretty: (You can see this as a potential wishlist too hehe)

#1: Hairbands anything

#2: Painted nails.

#3: Dresses

#4: Colourful anything

#5: Love songs(YES IT DOES)

#6: After a bath

#7: When i go shopping yay

#8: Pearl anything

#9: Flower anything

#10: Braid anything

So just so you know, i feel as ugly as it can get now.

2010-11-24T10:13:00.000+08:00

Hi world, I actually miss blogging. Not those ranting entries or messages to certain people that I can't say it in their faces(cause things might get ugly and awkward and all, okay you get my drift) I miss blogging about life and thats my purpose to blog. To let my future self be reminded of how things used to be. First I need to get a new camera in replacement of the crazy one so that memories can be created. Till then.

2010-10-22T18:43:00.001+08:00

Dear EDCBA(I dont wanna use E like ahem),

I'm sorry I'm not strong enough to be your pillar of strength when you need someone. I'm sorry that I'm so weak that you have to be my strength at this, probably one of the toughest phase of your life. I feel so useless when all I can do is cry like a baby when I'm suppose to be at least a little more useful than that. I know out of everyone, you probably don't deserve this kinda shit the most. But shit happens, and there's probably a learning point somewhere out of this whole mess. I'll be there for you whenever. I'll be strong. It'll be hard but don't ever give up. This is not your fault, I love you and I'm proud of you. Xx

2010-10-15T21:24:00.001+08:00

Perrrrrfect Chemistry.
The novel I took only 5 hours to complete. I can relate so well to brittany. Not her love with alex since I'm still on the search for my decent bad boy(not an irony, see chuck for example) Maybe I will never find someone to fulfill my fantasy and settle for some alternative but that itself can make up another blog post. Brittany tries so hard to be flawless to mask up her weaknesses. On the surface, she have a brilliant life. A happy family. A whole bunch of friends. Being the golden couple. She work so so hard to hide all her trust issues. We are so much alike. The only difference is she's strong and managed to obtain the mastery of being perfect, whereas I'm just trying too hard, too much yet too little. Sometimes I wish I don't care this much. To hell with social norms.

Don't always believe what you see on the surface cause thats just the part thats exposed for the world to see. More often than not, its just a facade. Yes, the don't ask don't tell policy apply.

2010-10-02T13:40:00.003+08:00

I don't fit myself into anywhere just for convenience, why run to people I'm not comfortable with?

Sometimes the puzzle just don't fit. Like a sore thumb sticking out, its so obvious that no one says anything. Just because nobody mention it doesn't mean its not there.

You run to me when you've nobody to go to. I know that and I don't feel honored, not a single bit. Stop it, don't make me think worse of you(its not like its not bad enough already)

2010-09-27T13:25:00.001+08:00

We have plenty of empty conversations and we lack deep talks.
We know each other yet we don't really do.
We hang out yet that don't really count.
We are more than acquaintances but we're a long way to bff.
We have an invisible list of "do not even go there" that we pretend is nonexistent(I despise such lists the most, way more than to-do-lists)
We don't even try because we just don't care enough.
What are we? This is the limit cause I don't waste my time on friendship that won't work. I dont believe in giving. Its just too much of an effort and strain on my part, not caring is so much of an easy way out. We can be whatever we are now and ten years down the road, we'd be nothing and we won't feel a thing.

Yup I cared enough to decide not to care anymore. But i'm over it hehehe. Hello fake world, please welcome jasmine.

2010-09-24T17:13:00.001+08:00

101 rules they should include in code of conduct for examinations.
1. Don't stomp on your calculator keys. You're not an elephant, the keypad's not the floor.
2. Keep your desire to tear the paper by flipping it harshly low.
3. Don't attempt to complete at the speed of light and bring stress to others working in the right pace.
Being arrogant or aggressive is not the key to success. I know you wanna show how fast you can meddle with your gc, I know you want the whole world to know you've proceed, I know you want the universe, or at least those around you, to know that you're capable. But that's not the right way nor time nor place to do it. Sorry but I'm highly affected by the surrounding. So glad I don't take H2 physics, cause I might just explode. Xx

2010-09-18T21:32:00.003+08:00

Chung cheng people have the ability to make me smile and appreciate myself for who I am. Maybe its because they're all a bunch of idiots. But its alright, I love idiots. They're fun and I enjoy hanging out with idiots. I miss my idiots. I miss my bitches, my 438s and my losers. But its okay, meridian's losers bring me laughter almost every morning. I don't know why but my day seems a little incomplete if I miss them at the the study benches. I just relate to cchms people more, so much more. Maybe its because they've seen the childish and young and naïve and stupid me that I'm not scared of revealing my thoughts to them and fear that they'll judge me. Sometimes I hate the process of growing up because you get to see the world in a clearer vision as you mature and can differentiate whats black and whats white, what're lies and what're truth, who are genuine and who aint. Sometimes the truth hurt but we cant show it because we're older, we're more mature and we should learn to suck it up and move on as fake cynical adults who don't do confrontation. Isnt this like lying to ourselves? Isnt this sad? Cant we just speak our hearts and make a stand. Life don't have to be plastic.

2010-09-18T18:32:00.001+08:00

Can I think that I'm special to you?

No, I know I'm just being led on.

2010-09-03T13:16:00.003+08:00

Ignorance is bliss, really.

Knowing or not knowing. Its like a double edged sword, either way someone get hurt in the process. Sometimes i'd rather not know, just like my favourite sentence, "What you dont know cant hurt you.". Sometimes one get hurt because they are not trusted and hence not know anything. But once you know something, all the burden of facts and subsequent lies are delegated into your shoulders. Also, when you know something, you chance upon stuffs you dont know and then you start going crazy thinking why isnt that information passed to you. And the cycle continues on and on and on. If given a choice, i'd either know everything or know nothing. But since knowing everything is impossible, i'd go with the latter. Yes, i'm ignorance about the fact that this stand is as extreme too but then again, i'm ignorance about it so how'd i know that its extreme?

Ahhhhhhhhhh gp is bad for health.

2010-08-13T13:24:00.002+08:00

When I blog out of impulse, my thoughts might just be inflated versions of the truth<:

2010-08-09T17:18:00.004+08:00

I fall for the wrong guy every single fucking time. I think its a curse, whoever it is i forgive you, but please just break that curse.

2010-08-08T09:46:00.002+08:00

I can depend on min hui to back me up whenever yong keong start picking a fight with me and look after me like a big sister even though I'm suppose to be the older sister by 3 days. Regardless of how much I hate yong keong's nonsense, he can still make me laugh while insulting me. I can rant to benjamin and solomon about things that hurt me and not feel inferior or shame.

I can count on jing qi to reply to all my sos asap and really really care, swanser can always make me feel good about myself through her encouragement. I can tell pascalle anything and be the most unreasonable and meanest bitch in the world wide universe but she don't judge and is always there.

All my life, whenever I go I can find people to stay in my life. Even though along the way I've lost some.. Dear future jasmine, stop being so dependent on people, if you have not already kick off this bad habit of yours, its time to start.

2010-08-07T12:39:00.003+08:00

Yesterday was a bad bad day. But I had a better night chilling and catching up with a special group of people. We are from all over the place and there's not once where all of us are in the same class before. Sometimes I wonder what makes us hang out together occasionally after we left chungcheng. Maybe somethings are just awesome like that. Or maybe the credit goes to the planner! I hope today will be a better day but sensing my fever, I don't even think I'm well enough to leave house but I know I should not and will not ditch people at the last minute. And its probably time for me to freshen myself up to head to the crowded town to meet my oldest friends and face my phobia for massive amount of human again.

But I'll send my love to the 3 huge metal pillars of my life for letting me lean my fat ass on whenever, wherever and however. I'd want my future self to remember to love baitch, bitch and 438. Xx

2010-07-30T19:06:00.002+08:00

Everyone wants to escape sometimes.

2010-07-08T09:34:00.002+08:00

Two opposites so alike.

2010-06-06T20:46:00.005+08:00

As the world turns around and we go different places, new things, new dreams, new faces

I kinda miss the 7 of us. Things are just not the same anymore. And i dont wanna be the only one feeling this way so i shall just keep such thoughts to myself.

I came across this facebook group/fan page/like page or whatever you call it. Its something along the lines of i didnt walk away, you let go. On first look its like so true, but in actual fact it is not. Nobody can make anyone else walk away. People come and go and and most people put the blame on the other party but in all relationships, it involve 2 people. Why do people walk away? Why do people let go? I think it all sum up to 2 reasons.

1. You just dont care enough.

2. Pride.

Sometimes people just dont care enough to do anything about it. Why would anyone make an effort to catch up with acquaintance? Who cares about people you barely know? We only have enough energy for people we truly care about. The rest are just... not as important.

The sad thing about any relationship or friendship is that you may not get the the love you send out. You may care, but you dont try. Why so? Because nobody want to be the one on the giving end. Pride is a big thing to almost everyone. Because of pride, people pretend that they dont care.

2010-04-10T10:20:00.001+08:00

Three's a crowd, the best ones though.

I got a shocked from what i saw. From internet explorer. My.blog.have.been.such.a.mess. Due to the permanent usage of firefox, internet explorer is only useful for dreadful elearning@ivle, or checking of hotmail when i'm lazy to type out my 219472034 long password. Never did i expect my blog to look like some nub shit thing with huge fonts and screwed looking links! Lucky for me, my unexpected stalkers gave this piece of information to biatch hence the bidding of farewell to archives and links and gigantic fugly big words!

Isnt small just cute and nicer looking? Short people are called fun size, yet you dont see people calling fat people cool size. Bite size messages are more than welcomed, yet chucks of texts are being labeled wall of text. A small group of people hanging out together is called gathering, yet a large group is called gang. Negativity is drawn towards strength and power, which are often abused, whereas less is more and small is cozy. Why why why? I dont know too but i guess it is like how it is better to be great at a few things than to be average in everything. Why do i care? I dont know but i just do. I guess this is the reason why i remember choosing that majority is always right essay to do last year. The fact that i still remember it is a plus. I have no idea what i'm adding to but yeah.

2010-04-02T23:41:00.004+08:00

Suck it up and move on, in the opposite direction.

People tend to say your world spins around certain people. But why dont they say your world stop spinning around certain people instead? Isnt it more to the point and less pretentious? I mean duh, noone's world revolve around only themselves, even though its clear that such people do exist, yes oh so unfortunate. I must have sinned in my last life to repay the huge debt now by being this sure that there are people who only care about Me, myself and I. And me and myself and i and the cycle goes on and on and on and on. I mean they care only about themselves, their feeling, their mood, their hunger, their craving, their convenience, their point of view, you get my drift, only just their everything, not so much they care about me. If only the self centeredness is directed towards me, i'll be flooded with attention, love, concern and care that were previously catered to themselves. Wait, thats not going to happen, not soon, not this year, not next year, not next lifetime. Theres a reason why their world revolve around themselves. Alright, i digress, i rant.

Back to my point. Cant we just say our world stop spinning for certain people. Certain people we dont give a damn about.
Cant we just say my world spin just for certain people.
My world is able to spin faster for some compared to others.
My world spin slower for certain people.
My world start to spin slower for some people.
My world refuse to spin for certain people.
My world completely stop spinning for certain people.

I'm not ashamed to confess that i rank my friends. Yes i do, in my list of priority, some people are way up, some are mid-range and i seriously dont care about some. Wait, i refuse to call that group of people my friends, just like how my world refuse to spin for them. Dont call me shallow, i'm more than sure everyone does this. Just like how you trust some people more, commit to some relationship more, make more effort to stay in touch with some people, have more fun with some people, let some into your life more or maybe push or kick some out of your life. Different people get different treatment. Be it the effort spent making a card, or not making one. Be it the affection you have deep down, or not have. There maybe some friends you regret drifting apart from, and would give anything to have things back to those used to be, yet there are some which you go "Awwwwwww" and fullstop. Why the different treatment if you dont rank your friends? Deep down, everyone does that. As much as it being morally incorrect, deep down everyone knows that its true, way deep. We just dont like being judgmental and being judged on. Humans are such......creatures.

2010-03-08T21:20:00.005+08:00

When you can't find a reason to hold on, search harder.

When you can't find a solution to the problem, think harder.

When you're on the verge of giving up, hold on for a little longer.

When you can't find strength in others, ignore their fault.

When all hopes are dashed, live in denial.

When a blackberry is available, I blog.

2010-03-04T20:09:00.003+08:00

I don't feel happy when my happiness is at the expense of other people, do you?

Yes, most people do. So what can I do?
Suck it up and move on.
Angst girl is angst for reasons other than pms.

2010-02-28T14:49:00.008+08:00

"People like personal because they are able to relate"

To my favorite teacher
told me never give up
To my fifth grade crush
Who I thought I really loved
To the guys I've missed and the girls we've kissed
Where are you now

To my ex-best friends
Don't know how we grew apart
To my favorite band
Sing along in my car
To the face I see in my memory
Where are you now

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am

To my first girlfriend
I thought for sure was the one
To my last girlfriend
Sorry that I screwed it up
To the ones I loved
Didn't show it enough
Where are you now

Where are you now
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am

I know we'll never see those days again
And things will never be that way again
But that's just how it goes
People change but I know
I won't forget you

To the ones who came
Who we're there from the start
To the love that left
And took a piece of my heart
To the few who'd swear
They'd never go anywhere
Where are you now?

Where are you now?
Cause I'm thinking of you
You showed me how
How to live like I do
If it wasn't for you
I would never be how I am
If it wasn't for you
I would never be who I am
If it wasn't for you
I'd be nothing
Where are you now?

I should stone less and get more things done, think less and be happier. But if i put up a strong front, aint i being what i disapprove of- fake? Shut up liondance, i need to think.

2010-02-11T22:13:00.004+08:00

Fml.

Because..

I feel bad.

I am the last to get back home, the first to bath, the first to rest and will be probably the first to sleep in the house. I'm barely there, but i hate doing chores and getting myself all sticky and sweaty and tired! And my only favourite and also might be the only task i've done in years- clearing and tidying the closet is long done by biatch! D: I really wanted to help but my job is already done(realllllllllly)

Because of my laziness and the timeless situation that i'm in, i only bought lolipop to give out for valentine's day present. Partly because i'm so not the vday present exchange kinda person. I'm more of a birthday person because i like to focus on only one person and dont have the attention span for more than one. But but i feel so very bad after receiving presents filled with love because it seem as though i dont deserve them.

I didnt get any clothes at all today. All that walk, all that searching all the walks are for nothing. Okay not nothing but almost nothing! I wanna go shop at overseas, they cant be worst than here. I'm really swearing off town, for now! Now that central is as good as closed 24/7, bitch and i officially have lost our ideal shopping location! (insert super sad facex10000)

The only stuffs that i got was cotton on flats, and it was a mrt station walk long because of their lack of colours but yay for my peach flats. And yay it only come in a size smaller and because i'm empty handed plus the bad influence from bitch saying that the flats will easily expand, now i'm suffocating my feets, wearing them around the house and as i type this sentence out, my right foot is catching its breath. I FEEL SO TORTURED.

Oooooh yeah all the school reopening, then getting into be like seriously in touch with homework, there comes orientation then it was all fun and play even when i got back to school for lessons, iit was as if i'm only physically there, then i started to get the drift and start to do my homework again, which is uh i have no idea why, always never ending. And now its chinese new year so yay for holiday again! DO YOU GET WHAT I'M TRYING TO PROVE? Whenever i get into serious mode, which is not easy and it takes a long long time, there'll be a holiday or a distraction that allow me to get back to play mode all over again! I'm sick of needing to catch up all the time and feeling lost!

Other than all these i'm <: <: <: <: Heh, sometimes i think i should stop overthinking and i should not care about so much stuffs. All i need to care about is whether i'm happy anot, so things that upset me can go screw themselves and i should not allow it to screw me up. Yay me, i'm enlightened! I like. Come come come moneeeeeeey, cya stress, i hope not to see you any sooner.

2010-02-06T16:57:00.011+08:00

Blah blah blah.

Oooooooooh yeah. Yay for orientation, even though c5 wasnt really high and all at times, but they're still lovely little nubs. I bet i was even more anti then the guys last year with the whole "i-dont-like-mj" feeling. So it was quite ironic for myself to be screaming at them for out casting themselves from the class and not joining my hype and retarded self-entertaining games learnt from the other very very lame ogls. But its alright, they dont have to know about the irony<: Talking about those self-entertaining games, they are really, i mean really really fun! Me being me and all hate to guess so i'll just go on a bugging spree, bugging people to tell me the answers, no more like explain the answers to me. And by explaining, that will include quite a few repeating. Heh heh heh, i'm not slow, i just like taking my time to absorb!

School after odyssey was really really bad. It is really a wasted day because i'm merely present and nothing else. My mind and soul and heart and everything else was switched off. I'm only there physically. And its really stressful knowing how much we've missed and that theres no way in hell any teacher is willing to help because their scheme of work is far more important than us. Yay us for taking up the responsibility of being ogl and its payback timeeeeee, so i paid back by missing school on friday because i think i deserve a break<: I'm my own genie, i grant my own wish. I like i like i like. I like taking long naps, i like not needing to know what time i need to wake up, i like not doing anything at all. Yeaaaaaah, i know who doesnt! Love catching up with my all time favourite dramas, love love love tvd, himym, skins(!!) I just need gossip girl to start airing on march and wait for chuck and blair to break up to stop anticipating them altogether. Unless the dumb producer wake up and realise that thats his biggest mistake ever, they will all remain as my destress remedy. I know right, i'm such an unrealistic girl to go gaga over plots. Till then, world.

2010-02-04T21:46:00.002+08:00

Humans are such confusing creatures.

I dont like it when people give excuses, yet i give them myself.
I dont like it when people go all way out to get their way but sometimes i do that.
I dont like whiny people but i whine all the time.
I dont like it when people are fake but sometimes i'm fake to most acquaintance.
I dont like self-centered people yet my life is mostly focused on myself.
I dont like it when people get me all clueless but i get a kick out of sharing things noone knows.
I dont like it when i feel as if noone cares but sometimes i pretend not to care about other people's business.
I dont like it when i get ignored, yet i pretend to be preoccupied and ignore.
I dont like being lied to, yet i lie.
I dont like it when people read my blog, yet i read people's online diary to know their true feelings.

To everyone, it seems as if it is alright and not sinful as long as you're not on the losing end, not the one who will get hurt. But then again, when you're the victim, the someone on the other end seem like such a hurtful, evil bitch. So when you think you're wronged/lonely/sad/any other negative emotions that is caused by someone else, think again. And if you're the person who is making someone else feel bad about themselves, put yourself in their position. Will you react in the same way?

I dont want to dont want to dont want to dont want to go back to school and get lost in the world of learning and catching up.

2010-01-31T15:00:00.005+08:00

I should study, i need to study, i have to study, i must study.

But i'm not, so much for self discipline.

2010-01-30T16:51:00.016+08:00

Think chair without chuck bass and blair waldorf.

Sometimes i feel lost.
Sometimes i feel ignorant.
Sometimes i feel unwanted.
Sometimes i feel insecurity bombarding me.
Sometimes i feel that its my choices that made things that way.
The thought that maybe everyone is feeling the same way at some point of time in their life made me overlook my misfortune.

Maybe i'm wrong.
Maybe its always been me overloading myself with such thoughts.
Who can i lean on?
What if i became overly dependent?
What if i'm not leaned on?
Cause i rather not have someone to lean on than not having anyone leaning on.

Studies is screwed, i have no self discipline, zero. i dont feel right in every single thing i do, see or hear. I get irritated by the tiniest actions ever.

Its so messed up, i dont know what to do anymore.

Read between the lines.

2010-01-24T18:32:00.003+08:00

Awk-awk-awk-awkward.

It kinda explains everything. Anytime, anywhere, anyhow.

Its awkward to go to school. Its awkward to be in a new class. Its awkward to know some things. Its awkward to not know some things. Its awkward to talk. Its awkward to look. Awkward life.

Actually i can just replace awkward with other words and it'll still make sense.

Its sad to go to school. Its sad to be in a new class. Its sad to know some things. Its sad to not know some things. Its sad to talk. Its sad to look. Sad life.

Its great to go to school. Its great to be in a new class. Its great to know some things. Its great to not know some things. Its great to talk. Its great to look. Great life.

I dont know what i'm trying to prove but i think its all about perspective.

2010-01-02T00:35:00.004+08:00

First post of 2010, ironically on the second day of 2010.

I dont know why but i cant sleep. I want to sleep, i'm tired but i cant sleep. Why why why? I dont get it, just like how i dont understand the hype about 2010. New year is just a another year, its more meaningless than chinese new year. At least i get to indulge in good food without any guilt for chinese new year. And good free hot money too! Needless to say, with all the new clothes in that new year package. Not guilty pleasure material at all. (self denial)

Is 2010 really worth the all live feed on facebook? I'm sure i pressed older posts for like 3 times and i still see people going "HAPPY 2010!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yeah yeah i get it maybe 2009 was shitty and 2010 cant get any worst. Or maybe 2009 was great and 2010 can only get better. I get it. Not. Are all the smses worthy? Is everyone really looking forward to 2010 or are some people just going with the flow? People like me who will text back excitedly about hoping to have a great 2010 ahead. Yup, sure, part of me is looking forward to a new year but that part is really really tiny. For someone who dare not think about the future with the whole A level mugging stress out frenzy, i dont think i have the rights to look forward to whatever 2010 holds for me. The holiday went by in blur, its gone before i realise.

How have 2009 been? Lets see. I got out of my comfortable 4 years long in cchms and got into meridian. Even now when people ask me what school am i from, i held back thinking which should i say? I guess that's because i'v'e chosen cchms yet mj picked me up. Nope, i'm so over dwelling on getting 9points not taking higher chinese not having a cca bla bla bla. Now i'm quite glad to have those in 108. Sure there're friends i've gotten closer with, there are also quite a handful whom i've drifted apart. For those who've known me, you'll know that friends are my drive, my fun, my laugh, my worries, aka very important in my life. It hurts to be far away from those used to be. It hurts not to know anymore. It hurt so much its awkward. I dont try when things get awkward, yes i just give up. So i hope i'm not given up upon, or else it'd be hopeless. Lost friendships. I dont dare to say i've all the memories kept within me like what people usually say. Honestly, i dont remember things, so all are gone except notes and cards that can tear people up. Those powerful little things. Abrupt stop cause i know i'll just go on forever.

I dont expect much of a resolution for 2010 from myself.

Maybe amend some of the lost treasures. Safeguard the present. Study right and do really well for A's or i can kill myself. Smile only for a reason. Make firm decisions. Be a more understanding family member (similar to-do in every of my to-do-list but never done) Getting great deals at flea at flyers. Decide whether to get a hair cut or not.

Thats probably all for now.

2009-12-31T03:37:00.007+08:00

Say goodbye to xmas and hello to new year fullstop

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Does it show how much i dread next year?

Lets rewind back to xmas celebration- its one of the more happening xmas making me in the xmas mood way back with all the present preparation! Too bad our pajamas picnic on 21 kinda failed because

1)Nobody really followed the dresscode (yours truly tried her best to get the yawn pajamas but theres always a but<:)

2)Theres no picnic(!!!!)

Very lol'able i know HAHHAHA, blame the shuttle bus timing, we shall go roll on the grass and admire stars another day okay<: Next day's cycling nearly killed me yet i admit that it is very fulfilling though. What doesnt kill can only make you stronger, really. What pisses me off is those people whispering "chungcheng" really loudly when we cycled pass. Just because we're all wearing cchms pe shirt doesnt mean we're from there nor that we dont know that we're once from there! I didnt know turning ourselves into cchms nub once again can attract so much attention from random passerbys. Totally tempted to give them a tight slap when i nearly got killed by exhausted-cycling hehehe. The two days were well spent with 438s though. Excited for next mission, stairs climbing!

23 was xmas with 108 luv. We didnt even have to plan what to do or think of what games to play beforehand because time passed really quickly, guess we were enjoying ourselves. Luv queen's abc condo for our function room! Makes me sad cause there wont be 108 anymore and that might be the last time we really hang out together as 108, ha ha ha. Its not about the class, its about the people. Next year will be so so so different.

Yay bitch for xmas eve, together with char and her other half. It was totally last minute and last minute and last minute. Caught avatar(dont kill me please 438s), still blue, still fugly still fugly still fugly! But some 3d effects were quite cool. Though i just dont get why the blue freaks must act like a vampire by roaring whenever shes angry. No idea why everyone's going gaga over it, i'd rather rewatch new moon, fyi i fell asleep watching new moon okay! (Expressing hate) I think i've just offended all the avatar lovers and new moon haters, ha ha ha.

Xmas was spent with family♥ Dropped the idea of buying the rose for mummy because parkway's so out of the way. Glad she loved the bag biatch and i have chosen for her! Shopping with biatch is so tiring especially so after the deadly cycling and spaming of sakae. Should've just ate jacks place laa D: Sakae only makes me broke and feeling of pukes. Ha ha ha been long though. Should do more of this sister bonding in future! Ikea shopping? What i love about eating at the regular restaurant is that nothing is unfamiliar and i got to eat the mango pudding that i crave for! And now i just reminded myself of my craving for famous amos cookies and more mango pudding. And mango pudding and mango pudding. Which reminds me that i still have logcake in the fridge! But food makes me fat. And fatter. So cant wait for kfc breakfast when i wakes up!

And then there's chompchomp with idiots yesterday. They didnt changed, didnt grow up(nothing drastic anyway) A group of stress relievers ha ha ha, i think if we meet up everyday, we can really train six packs on our cheeks, LOLZ. We met up to insult each other, to make fun of each other and to be insulted, to be made fun of. I was just thinking, were we like that during lower secondary? I couldnt remember every single thing but i'm sure there've been loads of times like that, good times. A pity that life in respect is just too dramatic for us to enjoy the whole journey of ups and downs. Sometimes i've wondered if i've let the downside overcame everything else. I hope not though.

I'm happy now, but how long will it last?

2009-12-20T23:33:00.006+08:00

Dear blog,

I'm sorry to neglect you for such a long time. And yes, there are reasons accounted for my current presence here. I realized that i stopped blogging about my daily life. I only come running to this space when i'm feeling down, when i feel as if something have affected me deeply, yet those thoughts are either too minor, too personal, too childish, too unexplainable or too retarded to share with people. I wanted to continue blogging only because i want to indulge in reminiscence, for future purposes. Yet all i've done is only expressing my unhappiness with this and with that, i only come running with misery which i probably wont even recall any gist of it after say a year? Half a year? Three months? Or even a month. So whats my point? Perhaps blogging is medium for me to channel all those so called despair. Because no matter how unreasonable i might sound or how confusing i tend to twist and bring my stories around the bushes, the blog will not respond. The blog will not tell me i'm wrong, or that i'm being dramatic. A.k.a. always being right no matter what.

Anyway, back to the reasons for this entry. 1) I'm bored. 2) Aznv tv pissed me off by buffering for 5s after playing 5s. 3) Its been long. 4) Xmas shopping pissed me off. I didnt get what i have in mind and thats the most frustrating thing ever. Are red and green baby socks that rare? The bad thing about having something prefect in mind is that when you dont get to get your prefect vision, its more irritable than usual, way more. Like how i didnt get my yawn pajamas from cotton on body makes me go !#$%^.

If barely spending half the day around these people is able to make me feel so tired and sick, then what are them to me? Being fake is far worse than being unreasonable. Please keep your two-face masks away from me<:

Bye blog, i'll try to update properly.

2009-12-08T19:58:00.000+08:00

Be there.

Sometimes, i wished i'd try harder. Sometimes, i'm sick of trying. Sometimes, i just wanna be alone but i dont wanna be left alone. I realised that nobody wants to be alone, and everyone worked for their own benefit. Its all about "Me, Myself and I". Sometimes i have the urge to scream at everyone, asking them to all shut up and not make a scene just so they can get their way.

Sometimes i wonder why are people so shallow? Why can people only make enough effort to care about themselves and only themselves? Why are people so selfish? When i ask myself this, the answer i got is, "Because i'm scared of being alone, because i wanna get my way or maybe i just dont care that much about whoever that's on the other line" Sooooo much for being insecure. Insecurity is in our blood isnt it? Its like a curse that we're all born with.

Can i say i'm disappointed? Can i say i'm sad? Can i say this is unexpected? Maybe, maybe not. I'm old enough to see through people's motive. I'm old enough to distinguish whats right and whats not. I cant say i dont care because i'm frustrated about all these. I'm sick of them, all of them. Sometimes i just hope i dont see things the way i do, i dont feel things the way i do and that i'm some really confused kid out there. Oh hell yeah, ignorance is bliss.

Well, other times, i'm just happy being Me, Myself and I.

2009-11-20T16:40:00.011+08:00

Regardless of how retarded we looked, how happy we looked and how funny it may seem, this word probably sums up everything recent- my mood, my actions and how life've been. There're just some days where you suddenly feel like being a bitch, putting the whole world down, turning to a bitch who claim that everyone elses are bitches, hating, annoying and irritating every single soul in sight or vice versa. Pushing all the blame to pms may not be the right thing to do but i'm quite sure its the time of the month, sooooon. I know whats wrong with me, i know the reasons. I just dont know how to put them in words, i mean, tell me about judging. I guess i just felt lost, as usual. I have no clue who gives a damn, i have no idea who will really be there for me, no idea where i stand. Everyone's so darn self-centered, it pisses me off. And by everyone, i'm one of them too.

Today is a great day though, i felt great lazing in bed, reading trashy novels biatch've gotten, catching up with vampire dairies and then giving twilight a go. How i wish everyday is like that. A great day, early morning, preparing to get out and changing my mind on the very last minute, surviving only on a chocolate cake till the noon, cooking up luinner (think lunch and dinner) with biatch. If little things like this can make me happy, why in the world am i upset so easily?

2009-11-09T23:46:00.003+08:00

Angst girl J to long lost friend X:

I dont like the feeling of being back up plans. Just because you finally realise that things are not the same anymore and that you might not belong anymore and that you might feel uneasy that people are moving on without you, it doesnt give you the rights to make people who actually belong feel unwanted. Alright, maybe i''m the one who is off. But hey, i'm not the one who dont know about things, not the one who is clueless, nor am i the one who is all talk only. Yup, its the thought that counts but when it gets to a point that its just thoughts, or some simple remarks aka words without any meaning, its just plain irritating. If you wanna be there, just be, without a need to seek for attention. If not, please kindly stay away from me. I'm not like you. I dont do fake, not anymore. People like you turn me off and i wonder how did i managed to get through after so long. Now, i'm done.

Bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day bad day but i enjoyed spending time with all my luv still.

2009-11-06T22:45:00.002+08:00

PHOTOBOOTH CRAZE<3

DEAR QUEEN, WHERE ARE YOU?

Monday marks the end of the most hated thing of the year, project work. Okay, i lied. Maybe the worst feeling is getting sucky grades even after studying harder in jc than for olevels. If you've taken a look on my results slip, you'll feel sorry for me. I think i've done even better for mid years, oh well maybe its because what i've done was not good enough. Anyway, the end of oral presentation is the start of lectures after lectures and.. Perhaps the end of 09s108, that really kills me. I have never been a fan of mjc and i head to this school with dislike and self blame- not taking higher chinese, not getting a better L1R5 due to my sciences, which is most likely caused by not studying for mcq. I didnt like 108, our girls are far to different from one another in every aspects. I didnt expect us to click so well, i didnt expect myself to like my class, i didnt expect to change class, lets not even move on about feeling sad on the thought of changing class next year. Expect the unexpected, its different from upper secondary, we might be a huge clique, but we're not equally close, we're closer to some than others. Its different from lower secondary, having as little girls as now, we still split ourselves up into 3 groups. Its a whole new experience altogether. I have never met such nehneh and gay guys ever, okay maybe i have but i'm just trying to show how much i dont wanna change class. I know its not possible for everyone to stay together anymore, so i just hope that the 7 of us can stay together. It wont be the same without the usual like the threesome(SSS), king, xunhao, miron and loser tingwei though. SEAFOOD, FLY KITE, SLEEPOVER, MORE HTHT, XMAS PARTY, LUV LUV LUV.

I gave up on us, so long ago.

2009-10-21T21:46:00.002+08:00

Tonight, will not be another night filled with tears and hate.
Tomorrow, will not be another day waking up with swollen eyes that are unfit for contacts, causing me to be unfit for school.
The day after tomorrow, will be the day i let go of everything and learn how to forgive.
Tomorrow always comes, i can always try again and again.
One step at a time, time will wash out everything, or at least i hope.

I just dont understand why must everything come crashing to me one after another. Why cant they take their time? If fate brings these to us, i think fate have to be more fair. Much more fairer.
I need a break, from life and everything.

Dear elaine, good luck for your olevels. I'm sorry that i havent been a very good sister recently(or always), but i just wanna tell you that even though at times i might not show it, but i love you and mummy. And daddy. Knock some sense into me alright? I'm really lost.

We walk with the crowd but we walk alone and tonight, i cry alone.

2009-10-20T12:03:00.001+08:00

Project work is so taxing and i only did appendix yesterday yet it is not as easy as it seems. I rant and rant and rant to biatch till i got so pissed and couldnt sleep till 2am. Mind you, i head for bed around midnight after i couldnt take the appendix shit anymore. Thank god for Cheryl or i will just kill myself. Only if we can choose our own group, i bet girls' power will pwn all and we'll all be the imba to the max group. If only. I just wanna get it over and done with, ensuring i get that A too or i can murder. No, i'll murder, trust me, i really will.

I'M TIREEEEEEEED AND MY EYES FEEL DRY. Super dry, not a good sign especially after i slept for so long!

Wanted to talk about liars and how white lies are the worst lies ever. Lying to get your way so as not to hurt other people? Irony much. Its actually lying to get to your way so that the rest of the world will not see the ugly truth protecting you from getting hit by hatred. Dont you think it make much more sense this way? The world is selfish, everyone cares for themselves the most. Seriously, the fact that white lies are more acceptable turn me off, its just a distorted truth. To me, its worse than any lies because its lying and finding a way out, finding an excuse. Its a cowardly act. And there go your perfect image and fake front when the lies are exposed. The thing about lying is that it'll be exposed, only sooner or later. The sooner, the more you pity yourself. The later, the harder to forgive. And trust is lost through lies, the cool thing is that it takes pretty long to build up, maybe even a lifetime. Same goes to amending for your sins.(lies)

Dont tell me not to be so harsh, dont tell me to let go, dont tell me to cheer up. What will you do if you found out that you've been living in a lie for the longest time?
/ABRUPT END, SCREW PW.

In life, people come and go. They cant help it, its inevitable.

2009-10-11T19:33:00.012+08:00

From left to right-

I took a photo of a kitten climbing a wall and then went back to my couch sipping my drink under the stars♥

A pity my drink left me in less than 24hours. I think it was barely half the day. Anyone got something cute for me to paste on my bare ring? I'm heartbroken after shopping because my wallet slimmed down drastically. And it was an impulsive day, every single buy was on impulse. But i enjoyed the day with bitch. We dont see each other everyday anymore, but we're still good<: <: <: Cant wait for smu flea!

DIDNT

ANYTHING!

Golf instructors suck. Hands on was short but fun. Overall it was pretty good. Why why why are the pictures so blur? Pe elective seem so long ago cause i cant really remember the details anymore.

So anyway, today have been a project work day. I'm this close to sitting back and just let everything rot but i know my priority. So i tired my best! Seriously dont see a point in project work, Its like role playing, it'll never happen in real life. SO WHATS THE FREAKING POINT? ANYTHING FOR THE GRADE MAN. Everyone lets ganbatte, i guess. Lets wish for the better! Guess it cant get any worst since tomorrow is the start of doom's day.

So am i suppose to ask you how are you?

2009-10-10T10:33:00.004+08:00

Was thinking about changing my url for a new start, the hiatus was unknowingly long. And i almost lost touch with blogging completely. A part of me still hope people from my past are checking this site out to know whats happening to me, the very slim glimpse of hope made me hold on. Cause i'd love to read about their lives too, with or without me. Cause they'll be in my heart forever. Maybe forever doesnt last, maybe these people wont be that important to me in the future. But right now, i'm clinging on to our memories, be it alone or not cause this is the only time i dont mind being the odd one out. Sometimes i wonder what am i waiting for, really. I have no idea too.

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YAY NAHNAH FOR PICTURES<: I realised wanni and cheryl wasnt in the pictures so i shall post up some from bbq HEH HEH HEH.

coolz, qianbian and tall doesnt exist.

I felt really retarded staring into the camera okay!

THAT WOUND THERE HURT LIKE !#$%^

<: <: <:

LOL@TINA AND DORI

I didnt know csc was like so near chungcheng, okay i didnt even know it existed ha! So that was the a day of jacks place, bowling, arcade, nehnehing, katong lasak, icecream chef, soon chuen's house visiting and revelation of samuel ng's unique way of mooncake eating. Golf with the girls plus nigel and kangwei was <: <: I shall continue the time lag and wait for mrs xxx to upload the photo spam! Okay, now mj is not bad laa, yup that took me quite long HA. Cant wait for everyone else (EG. POOR HENG SS, YES I THINK LEFT YOU ONLY HAHAHA) to finish their promos and spend quality time! Just let me put chinese and project work aside for a moment and pray hard that i'd beable to hunt down good stuffs and belated pressie for elaine at flea later<:

Just because its a habit doesnt make it less special.

2009-10-06T11:15:00.002+08:00

Yesterday's fight with my mum was pretty peaceful, in terms of shouting at each other. But it was harsh, i've hurt her, Elaine've hurt her. Even though i'm the one who started everything, i can feel her pain. I dont do apologies, but i apologised last night. Sometimes i just cant help it that my heart speak faster than my mind. Maybe i can, but i didnt try hard enough.

Promos are over, yet i dont feel alive. My wound from the stupid fall is hurting, my head's spinning, my stomach is grumbling, my body clock woke me up when i wanted to sleep in, the whole of the morning. Last night's bbq was good. I didnt say it was great because half the time i was feeling darn sick for god knows what reason, but heart to heart talk is the best. CANT WAIT FOR SLEEPOVERRR WITH THE GIRLS. I shall kop photos from facebook soon<: Soon Chuen said if you receive any call within this 2 weeks would mean you didnt make it through. Lets just hope that everyone can get through this stupid shit. Actually i should worry for myself more, i'm a little more than a bit scared, uh make that alot.

Jaa ne, i'm off to find food.

2009-10-06T00:12:00.003+08:00

Ever felt so lost that you've no idea who to go to or what to do?

Theres noone to go to. I remembered vividly that i almost got myself to spill everything out to the bimbos. Yup, almost but i never did. And i guess i never will, to anyone else. Or anyone.

Theres nothing i can do, i cant even bring myself to cry about it.

Side tracking, j1 is somewhat over just like that, i just hope the next path will not be a tough one. And i'm back in the mood to start blogging all over again.

Oyasuminasai.

2009-09-06T18:31:00.010+08:00

A beautiful mistake or a twisted bliss?

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I dont wanna be holding on to you but sometimes i wonder if i'm the one who insisted to cling on. At times like this, i wonder if i will ever get out of this mess i brought myself to. I was so determined and ready to let go but shit happens. Yeaaaaaah, one step forward and a few steps back. I'm not moving forward yet i know there isnt any way to ever turn back again. Life's all about changing but changes doesnt change. The funny fact is that its not easy to fall, but once you've fallen, it'll be so tough to get up, sometimes theres just no other way out but.. I dont know, move on? But then again i said it'll be so tough to get up and sometimes theres just no other way out but.. I dont know,there you see, i've formed a never ending cycle for you.

2009-08-08T23:25:00.004+08:00

I miss having those quiet moments during long busrides. We used to be thinking about god knows what, looking around those familiar scenes and just thinking to ourselves silently. There wasnt anything like awkward silences. Maybe its because we know we'll always be there for one another no matter what, like everyone's always around. But things changed. We were once a big part of each others' lives, we were once mutually important people, we knew each other. But not anymore, even friendship fades as time goes by. Sometimes i hate it when people show their luv for me. Making me realise that so many people actually care for me and love me makes me think whether i truly deserve them all. It makes me guilty. I dont do luv cause i'm always asking myself will the same people luv me as much five years down the road? The simple though of losing them kills. I dont do luv cause i'm afraid of losing them someday down the road. Memories hurts. Used to be hurts ad much. Truth hurts the most.

As we grow older, we become even more dull. People have pms, jasmine have pbs. But pbs jassie still wanna tell those people who luv her that she luv them just as much♥

2009-06-02T21:04:00.006+08:00

/Begins with normal blogging mode.

Hello its me nante. Its been quite a while since you've last heard from me, but it havent been that long since i wanted to fill up this space. Its just that everytime i wanna do it, theres always something telling me not to. Like hey, just let this thing rot and die already. Because i dont do daily blogging anymore, i stop blogging about my life and my days already. Entries are now mostly emotional, senseless and not logical ones.

This morning, even the best milo mcflurry tasted exactly like how i felt- god damn shitty.

This rainy morning was spent experiencing what i never had. I've never been that aimless, i never felt such hatred before. I didn't know what to do so the coward in me ran away. But they, the next time i see someone sitting alone in one corner back facing out, i'll get the hint to go away. Some people are so clueless, they deserve a kick in their asses.

Sometimes i tried so hard to fit in, to put on a strong front, to be happy and fake. I thought i can accept my fate but i don't do fake. But i dont know how people will see me so i have no choice. Its wearing me out, badly. I miss myself, i miss those people who once played a big role in my life. At least i know they dont do judging or they actually know me well enough to judge a minimal. Now i just feel like i'm standing alone, going through what i think is the toughest path of my life on my own. I'm so sick and tired of everything and the worst part is crying doesn't make me feel any better.

Sick of my string of rants yet? I've learnt something, better fake than sorry. Yup ouch ouch JAA NE!! CAN'T YOU FEEL THE BLISS? WHOOPS I MEAN MY BLISS. Irony much.

2009-04-05T21:47:00.004+08:00

This whole weekend've been a messed up and teary one, i'm guessing its pms. Everything is not good enough for me, i've been like that all the time. I'm always not happy with what i'm given, only to notice how important and great it is when its gone, tell me about taking things for granded. Yeah i guess i always know all these but i dont do a shit, i just continue living in my own denial, whining about everything under the sky, or not. But what to do when i'm afraid of losing, afraid of being left behind, afraid of not being good enough. Its always about me, wanting to be the perfect nobody. Life's tough with so much things going on and i'm allowing those strong waves pushing me along. I dont know what i'm sad about, i really dont. But theres school, along with stress, new friends and old ones, not having enough time, not doing enough, not trying hard enough. Have been hanging out with primary school friends lately and i guess we're still the same old people. We might be pretty tight now but who knows when things will change?

WAIT, I THINK I'M THINKING TOO MUCH AND I SHOULD STOP RIGHT NOW BEFORE I STRANGLE MYSELF TO DEATH.

2009-02-14T16:45:00.003+08:00

HELLO ITS ME, NANTE. HAPPY VDAY MINA-SAN. I'M GETTING EMOTIONAL BECAUSE I MISS CHUNGCHENG, I MISS THE SCHOOL, I MISS THE LAKE, I MISS THE CLASSROOMS, I MISS KNOWING WHERE I'M HEADING TO, I MISS ALL THE HABITS, I MISS BEING MYSELF AND I MISS MY FRIENDS THE MOST. ITS LIKE SECONDARY ONE ALL OVER AGAIN, BRAND NEW ENVIRONMENT, BRAND NEW PEOPLE, BRAND NEW EVERYTHING BUT ONLY WORST. BECAUSE WE GREW UP AND THERES SO MUCH MORE TO CONSIDER. AND TO THINK THAT I USED TO HATE CCHMS SO MUCH, TAKING EVERY SINGLE GOD DAMN THING FOR GRANTED. PUTTING ALL THESES RANTING ASIDE, I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE THE STRESS OR THE STUDYING, AM SO FREAKING DEAD. I DON'T THINK I CAN COPE WITH JC LIFE AT ALL. EVERYONE PLEASE DON'T MOVE ON WITHOUT ME, I MISS CHUNGCHENG AND AM SAD YET I WAS SPREADING LUV ON FACEBOOK YESTERDAY. OKAY, NOW SOMEONE PLEASE GO CURSE THE IRONY. AND OFF I GO, OUT WITH MY DATES.

2009-01-27T22:01:00.012+08:00

HEELS MAKES ME FEEL TALL.

Visiting was alright, started well and ending well yet it was so so in the middle. Tried watching Code Blue's special at my aunt's house but was too engross in msn thus i couldnt concentrate properly. Money wise was a disappointment, screw the bad economy. I'm having sore throat now thus i feel sore about everything. Poor elaine have school tomorrow and elgin says posting will be out on friday, which adds on to my pain.

2009-01-26T01:20:00.004+08:00

i swear i did not tiptoe, not.

After counting down for so long, last day of work have arrived and payday is luv yet i dont know, something tells me i wont mind working more with these people. From strangers to friends to buddies/family(?) I think we've spent more time together these days than catching our beauty sleep. 12hours a day plus our daily hangout at mac after work till midnight. I guess i've enjoyed all the bitching, the secret sharing, the roleplaying, the playing around a fool and getting lectured. Minus the cutting bagua, standing, wrapping, bitchy people and irritating buyers, whom which i will irritate back by calling them aunties. Its damn effective i tell you. The uncles damn sick the aunties damn nice but i'll miss zehzeh didi daddy mummy and our stupid ahgong most. *purposely leave nanny out* xiaodi can go die. Oh yeah still got damien(!!) LOLZ damn stupid laa yk think i'm seriously crazy over him and keep offering help-_-

Oh by the way i confessed(not to damien duh, LOLZ) but backed out with the most loserish excuse ever. It was on impulse, thus the crappy way out. I need better backup plans, so imma go catch up with gossip girl and one tree hill. Chuck and Peyton must not die. Yup this is totally unrelated, but i'm n the mood for a wall of texts. So sue me[x

OH YEAH let me present you our one and only... BA GUA COPYRIGHTED UH GRAVEYARD which caused us scolding. Okay maybe my timing isnt that great for this but anyway happy chinese new yeaaaar! Yay to indulging of nice food and family bonding and red packets!

2009-01-16T12:22:00.002+08:00

I deserve shit.
I deserve shit.
I deserve shit.

2009-01-09T11:55:00.011+08:00

My right eye is swollen and omfgwtf i can actually feel pain, which is obviously a bad thing(?) I cant tell my mum about it cause i'm 101% sure that she will just throw my blue contacts straight away and chances of me getting more coloured contacts might just be negative. I'm damn scared cause i dont wanna go blind just yet and whats worst is that i just sent my pro spects for checking so this means that i die die also have to poke my contacts into that swollen eye of mine! WHAT IF IT GETS WORST LIKE SOME SHIT INFECTION? Omfgwtf i refuse to think about it D: Work've been tiring due to excessive standing

The person who tagged you is?
Pks

Your relationship with him/her?
Classmates for.. 4 years?

Your 5 impressions of him/her?
1.)Pks-ish
2.)Always get bullied during lower sec
2.)Blurrrr
4.)Dai de nub
5.)Ghey LOLZ joking.

The most memorable thing he/she has done for you?
Losing daide like siao, not on purpose somemore.

The most memorable thing he/she has said to you?
No bell rang.

If he/she becomes your lover, you will?
Not possible.

If he/she becomes your lover, things he/she has to improve on will be?
Grow taller/less ghey heh heh heh

8. If he/she becomes your enemy, you will?
I wont do anything, he'll just die.

9. If he/she dies, you will?
Bring him back to life and kill him again.

10. What is it you want to tell he/she?
Domo Yamapi/jin>you.

11. Your overall impression of he/she?
Quite nice, therefore gay.

12. How do you think people around you will feel?
Feel coolz.

13. The characters you love of yourself are?
An eye for an eye

14. On the contrary, the characters you hate yourself are?
If i dont like you, i wont let you feel loved.

15. The most ideal person you want to be is?
Yamapi(!!) HAHAH JOKING.

16. For people who cares and likes you, say something to them.
Luv luv luv

17.Pass this quiz to 10 people
(1) Yampi
(2) Jin
(3) Tegoshi
(4) Toma
(5) Koyama
(6) Ryo
(7) Maru
(8) Kame
(9) Ueda
(10)Shige

LOL HAHAHA JE LUV K.

18. Who is no. 6 having relationship with?
Google is your bestfriend.

19. Is no. 9 a male or female?
Male laa.

20. If no. 7 and 10 are together, will it be a good thing?
Obviously not?

21. What is no. 2 studying all about?
Hes supposingly very interested in english.

22. When was the last time you chatted with no. 3?
I saw him talking on their concert dvd.

23. What kind of music band does no. 8 likes?
Probably his own, KAT-TUN ftw.

24. Does no. 1 have any siblings?
Yup, a younger sister.

25. Will you woo no. 3?
Why not! Hes so cute.

26. How about 7?
Maybe not one of my first choices though

27. Is no. 4 single?
I think so?

28. What is the surname of no. 5?
Keii-chan~ Most probably Koyama or Keiichiro.

29. What is the hobby of no. 10?
Getting bullied(M) LOL.

30. Do no. 5 & 9 get along?
Urm, guess so?

31. Where is no. 2 studying at?
Not studying anymore.

32. Talk about something for no. 1?
Hes luvluvluv.

33. Have you tried developing feelings with no. 8?
That depends on his hairstyle.

34. Where does no. 9 live in?
Japan.

35. What colour does no.4 like?
Black and white?

36. Are no. 1 and 5 bestfriends?
Koyamapi luv~

37. Does no.1 have any pets?
A dog? Or was that jin's?

38. Is no. 7 the sexiest person in the world?
I wont call him sexy.

39. What is no. 10 doing now?
Dunch know wor.

HAHAHHA. I HAD TO GOOGLE FOR SOME OF THE ANSWERS K.

2009-01-07T11:59:00.007+08:00

I'll tell you what is heaven.

A slice of chocolate cake with two strawberries as topping along with a warm cup of coffee in the early Wednesday afternoon watching NEWS' Pacific Tokyo Dome DVD. I officially accepted the whole of NEWS the way it is right now. I LUV EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THEM! Yupyup even Masuda. Ryo is damn cute too, in his stupid way. Shige being bullied make him pififul like a lost puppy(LOLZ). I luv Koyama's !SPICY shirt in Never Ending Wonderful Story laa, it pwn the stupid smiley face shirt hands down! Tegoshi is always luv and Yamapi is always the bessssssst! "Cool yamapi with a cute face" HAHAHA,i sound like such a crazy fangirl. But i'm not! Okay maybe i'm, a little bit. Just a little bit, heh heh heh.

Hais hais hais hais hais, i notice after the big Os i've cut down my usage of hais. HAIS, whats super sad is that i heard our results are coming out. I was in high spirit and am super happy and stuffs before cleo come and tell me about her teacher assuming results to be ready on friday and even if its not out on friday, high chances okay i mean obviously it've to be out by next week. Which means i'm so not prepared for it. Not mentally, not physically. I think if i'll just feel numb and nothing else when i get it back. I mean its like a once a lifetime thing! Oh hais hais hais when i though working is fun fun fun, pas' bro have to break the news about..... HAIS, for someone who cant tell white lies like calling some auntie "xiaojie", i bet i'll be super mean without having realise. OH YEAH CORNFLAKES RAISINS IS DAMN NICE, EVERYONE GO BUY OKAY, $9.90 ONLY@! I eat the sampling till damn shuang ha ha ha ha.

Since i'm in such a blogging mood these days..
FOR ELAINE BITCH ONG, LOL SHE GOT A MIDDLE NAME.

1. Open your music library.
2. Put on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you got to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and pretend you're cool... just type it in, man!

Opening Credits: Why- News {nante nante nante!}
Waking Up: The Great Escape- Boys Like Girls.
First Day At School: I could get used to this- The Veronicas {yarly lolz}
Falling In Love: The Kill- 30 Seconds To Mars
Losing Virginity: Namidairo- Yui
Fight Song: Leavin'- Jesse McCartney {omfgwtf, am i a coward?!}
Breaking Up: Ordinary- Nishikido Ryo
Prom: With You- Chris Brown
Life's OK: Better than me- Hinder
Mental Breakdown: Alibi- News
Driving: Shut up and drive- Rihanna {i swear it was not on purpose}
Flashback: Change the World- NEWS {atashi superwoman desu}
Getting: Rooftops- LostProphets {lulz luzl lulz}
Wedding: Hesitate- Akanishi Jin {okay thats damn lawlable}
Birth of Child: White Xmas- KAT-TUN {xmas child, ping(!!)}
Final Battle: Crushcrushcrush- Paramore {DIEEE }
Death Scene: Good Fucking Bye- Alkaline Trio {kthxbyebye}
Funeral Song: Change Your Mind- AAR {okay i dont wanna die anymore}
End Credits: Forever- Papa Roach
Trailer: Keep the Faith- KAT-TUN {yukan club luv}

KAWAII DESU.

Go away go away, its hot D:

Yay one one one!

TAKE THAT I'M 2 NOW.

JX:*CRIES*
KX: YAY i win.
JM: Crap lah, later mummy scold me.

JX's hair grew(!!!)

Hes so cute when hes young♥♥

My best studying buds.

PIN LUV.

2009-01-05T23:58:00.000+08:00

♥♥Honey and clover! Friendship for the win, ftw ftw ftw. Oh no, i'm going gaga over toma and thinking tomapi is actually quite a cool combination!

"You're lost not because you dont have a map.
You're lost because you dont have a destination."

For someone without a proper goal in life, i can fully relate to it. While feeling pretty pathetic about myself, with questions like: Why aint i not good enough? Why cant i be better? Why cant i be someone else? WHY WHY NANTE. {Oh btw, Ai Nante is luvluv k. Note to elaine, help me change that to my blogsong kthx[X

Let me bring you overdue photos of ex-workplace! Yup ex, we quit after working aka sitting our ass off pasting stupid pricetags for 340bucks in total. Harharharhar i'm so smart that i fire davidlee before experiencing the torture of pasting steamboats. Was expecting more $$, but this is some easy money considering the fact that

-We're sitting down all the time,
-Spent half the time talking,
-The other half was spent listening to ipod or just concentrating on urm, nothing,
-And its just doing some really brainless sticking.
In other words, its so slack its coolz.

Would have really continued working there if

-The travelling journey is much shorter,
-Nicer packed lunch, so that we dont have to bring our own, ITS DAMN TROUBLESOME K.
-Minus the loud and irritating indian music please kthx, psst no offence,
-Job to be less sianed, this job super s.i.a.n. can.
-Having nicer colleagues/working partners(LULZ?) who can at least fucking remember our names instead of moi moi moi here and there. For god sake, if i'm called pascalle, maybe it can be excused, but still!
-Oh by the way, i didnt know guys can be that bitchy till i know sia huat exist!
-And also only if the supposingly big boss in charged is less qianbian, both facial and attitude wise.

If only man, if only! I kinda like my new job now even though its alot more tiring and that i get to wear my fav luv red every single day! Explains why there isnt any red in my wardrobe other than the 3 newly added tees for work. SARCASM DUH, i hate red shirts, especially those blood red or national day red lookalike. And i so hate wearing skinnies, its darn hot and my wound is freaking hurting most of the time k! And i hate getting dao-ed, I HATE IT THATS WHY I TEND TO CHOOSE CUSTOMERS TO PROMOTE TO. Other than that, i'm quite okay with this job heh heh heh. Noone shall visit cause i dont earn commission from your trip, so please save it[x But walao, if i were to earn commision hor, confirm more than 500bucks la! Explain why there isnt any D:

I feel quite sad today cause i have to wake up at 7plus and i was a little late and my blue contacts sucks and its not comfy and i feel fat and there isnt much water to reach out for and my leg hurts from standing so damn long and clementi is too far for 340bucks and my gym's wound hurt, skinnies sucks and my waitressing pay is still not in my bank yet, screw re and roy and i feel partially blind for the whole day and my blue contacts look fugly and i should've chosen brown or stick with grey and my blue contacts sucks OKAY MAINLY BECAUSE THAT STUPID DUMBASS CONTACTS SUCKS.

Guess i thought too highly of us, our assumptions were wrong, or should i say mine were? The others got it right, sometimes i just have faith in things that were never meant to be. Why the hell did i even think we'd stand a chance to show the others how wrong they were? For god's sake, i feel like the biggest fool in this world. The first step to believing, is a fucking mistake. Should i say i'm sad or disappointed? Nuh, maybe pissed is a better word. I feel angered because i lost the invisible bet, yup i'm neither sad or depressed over this. Maybe a little disappointed lo, but who cares. I'm giving up which means not only will i not try, i wont give a shit anymore. Its not like they need me or anything. Actually, they fucking dont and the sad thing is, i fucking know it.
Nope, its not what you think it is.

Wa sian i suddenly got the blogging urge and typed out this whole stupid text, i guess i will save my kawaii baby photos for another time. Wa sian i havent forgot about elaine's lj music thing k, with kawaii photos and jap studying/poa tutoring(for them) photos! SORRY FOR THE WOT.

PS;I LUV THE PIN SHOE SHARED WITH ELAINE! WILL POST PICTURES OF IT K.

JIN
+PI   
♥PIN

2008-12-28T00:13:00.000+08:00

你的脑是白的吗？
你的脑是白的吗？
你的脑是白的吗？

Its been a month since i last update and ages since i visit this just revived blog. If you call stoning at home facing the computer/teevee 24/7 a no lifer, please swallow your words right back now. Lets face it, someone who wake up when the dawn break, hop onto the mrt before peak hours to get to work due to the fact that the journey is at least 40minutes long. Heading back home after 10 freaking hours of work, with a longer travelling time due to the additional busride. Every.single.day. This is unbearable and having colleagues(?) which you feel like bashing and this Uncle Lee, i refuse to refer him as Mr Lee due to the fact that after taking a decent look at him, you'll feel like giving him a tight slap. Not that he is mean, but neither is he nice either. Screw uncle lee, screw fulltimers, screw sia huat! HUAT AHHHHHH. I rather wear some weird uniform and stand the whole day but why cant they let us work together(!!!!!) I'd rather be jobless than going back to that shithole but the additional income is just so.. Tempting.

Ah whatever, lets move on. Okay more like move back to xmas.

Swensens balloon stuck at seouls.

logcakeeeeeee!

False assumptions almost drove the nuts out of me.

2008-11-28T20:45:00.003+08:00

I feel like i'm a fat broke bitch who is deprived of beauty sleep even though i just slept for 10hours straight.

Statement 1-
I'm feel fat, i'm fat and i'm eating and eating and eating. The more i try not to eat proper meals, the more junk food i take in. And its freaking screwing my up in a super bad way.

For example, today i'm totally causing myself to gain weight when i actually am having plans to lose weight!
11am- 2 glasses of water.
11.30am- 1 piece of chipsmore.
12pm- 2piece of chocolates.
12 plus- 1 slice of cheesecakeeeeeee yum yum.
1pm- ice milo and more chocolates
1.15pm- leftover yam paste, yum yum yum!

And then fat came to get her cousin's pants and elaine's flats for work. And from her latest reports, i'm so glad i chose to let her get the chance to earn those big bucks! Teehee, never mind experience but i so do no want to be seen with some cheena clothes with holes waitressing[x And then being tired, i went to sleeeeeep, till i get the bad news call from pas which woke me up.

3pm- 1 piece of guides cookie and more chocolates again.
4.30pm- 3/4 bowl of fried rice and yakult.
5pm- ice milo
6-8pm chocolates again omfg.
8.35pm(currently)- cookie and cream hello panda and yakult

I've been eyeing on those bottles of pringles but imma declare them and chocolate as my enemies for now. Wait, i mean thats my plans for tomorrow. Oh yeah i have been spamming water all the time, i dont count how many bottles i drink anymore. Current i count by kettles, yup seriously. I love drinking water, and if that can help me lose weight without exercising much, why not!

Statement 2-
I've been a good girl dragging myself into bed before 12am for two days. The result of day 1- couldnt sleep up till 2.14am. Yes, the last time i checked my phone was 2.14am! And day 2, after having only 5 pathetic hours of sleep and a day of job hunting and travelling all over the place from town to international building to raffles place to here there and everywhere, i thought i will just die off in bed within seconds. But no, i only managed to sleep at 12am. after being in bed since around 10plus! WHAT THE HELL IS THISSSSSSS MAN.

Statement3-
I dont feel broke, i'm actually really freaking broke. I thought i broke record for having just 4bucks, who knows i came home with just a dollar the next day. I'm off for some cheap thrills of online updated comics and maybe some bitching from gossip girl. Or a dose of helpless oguri shun with bad hair day 27/7. Or maybe not.

2008-11-17T21:43:00.012+08:00

BEST VIEW IN IE.
BEST VIEW IN IE.
BEST VIEW IN IE.
BEST VIEW IN IE.
BEST VIEW IN IE.
BEST VIEW IN IE.
BEST VIEW IN IE.
BEST VIEW IN IE.
SCREW FIREFOX.
SCREW FIREFOX.
SCREW FIREFOX.
SCREW FIREFOX.
SCREW FIREFOX.

I STILL THINK THE DEFORMED FACES LOOK CUTER. ESPECIALLY JIN's QIANBIAN SMILE!
But then, no matter how i look at my blogskin, i find myself some adobe nub. I think my works lack flow and style. And whats even sadder is, i spent at least 3 hours on this layout. And thats only for the image. Css wise, only 30minutes cause i was lazy thus only switched colours. Tell you a secret, you know how did my theme came about? White is from KAT-TUN's soon to be released single-White xmas. And Stardust is the first song from NewS new album(Color) that caught my attention! Even though i personally think Stardust isnt one of NewS' best , in terms of how it sound. But dont ya think the title is way coooool? Hais, but then having a skin which look so cheerful and hyped up feels weird. Must be those similar faces, must be.

Soo, selling icecream wasnt as fun as i thought. Actually it was helll for someone who abhor rejection of any kind, i got rejected a total of more than 100times (okay, maybe alittle lesser) last sat. Those who didnt buy, those who are not at home and those who did not answer the freaking bell shall dieeee. I knock so much till my hand hurt like helll. Should i waste my time waiting for the admin jobs to come to me and to mass apply for them even though they'd properly not take me in as i can only work for less than 3months. Or should i work my ass off as some waitress in some low paying restaurant (not really low yet not high either, but better than nothing.) Or should i go for the interview as salesperson in Topshop? Or should i take up odd jobs like door to door flyers (never selling icecream ever again.) Tough choices but i must choose one of them. And i hate choosing, thus i conclude that: Money.is.not.easy.to.earn.

2008-11-16T22:56:00.001+08:00

I want a time machine so that i can rewind to those good times and to unwind the bad ones.

I want a truth/lie detector to know what is black and whats white.

I want a mind reader so that i can tell whats really going on and there wont be a need to make guesses and assumptions anymore.

I want to be as transparent as glass so that i will not have to explain to others about my emotions.

I wanna have super natural powers that can grant all my wishes.

Geeez, this post is fucking cheesy. Okay i just feel like using the word cheesy, so sue me. Yum yum cheesecake.

Screw sims2 please. My anti virus is so imba that it choose not to ignore the virus in the crack and theres nothing i can do. I hate sims.

2008-11-12T21:55:00.005+08:00

Life is being a jerk. Why do i always feel like the one being abandoned, being ditched and being left behind by every single soul on earth? It've always the case, all the time. Always. Even though i've always knew it myself, but still deep down inside theres a part of me yearning for some non-existent hope. Oh just go already, don't even hope that i'd beg you to stay. Do i have any reasons to do so? No and even if there are, i won't. Will not and do not want. I'm deprived, i feel sad and unwanted, and that gave me even more reasons not to throw my pride on the floor for you to step on, yes, not even you. So what? I've been through the worst, and i'm pretty sure i'll survive.

I confuse myself with the overlapping happiness which resound for my stupid assumptions. And so i can't deny the surge of disappointment that i was bombarded with when i realise the truth. I guess we were once close, used to be and then when i figured out i'd lose it forever, i don't wanna face the truth. I guess everyone's like that at a point of time, when facing certain issues. Faking it and pretending to be fine right at the next moment, this cause people to judge me like i've got some heckcare attitude and that i'm fine with anything. But ya know what? I hate that part the most. If you don't know me, don't act like you do. Just freaking get your ass out already.

By the way, the above paragraphs have zero relations. Yup none, so they aint interlink. Not at all.

Its easy to act like you care yet even easier for me to see right through you.

2008-11-11T00:13:00.010+08:00

Actually, i feel like koping cleo's post cause i aint got the mood to blog. But i have to cause i luv my mummmmmmy and i felt bad because her birthday celebration was pushed back due to my stupid olevel ss. Put the blame on ss, hell yeah. Well, just for the records, i'm not getting and will not be getting any pro looking shirt or my dear smiley face hoodie anymore, the blogshop owner who went mia should go to hell. I.feel.damn.sad.and.pissed.thus.i.shall.not.go.on. Oh oh food food food, though i didnt ate till the end of my course but it was, yummy!

I luv the ice creaaam with black glutinous lo! Okay i dont know why biatch wanna photoshop these photos, cause i find myself a darn good photographer, with a lousy camera phone! But dear n81, please dont die on me anymore, i'll try my best to cover up the scratches i've scarred on you and.. Try not to get you any new ones. Even though i cant wait to get rid of you, you cant ditch me first. *freak mode*

I shall update my links later! And oh yeah tag replies. I figured my rusty photoshop skills are not able to make it up to my standard or anyone's anymore. That sucks, alot. A little more than alot x[

]x
x]
[x
x[

These are the new qianbian. Cause i say so x]

Anyway, say hi to the latest definition of qianbian -Retarded.

I not trying to act cute okay, i'm showing how much i luv my hair. I know its a failure though.

And lousy photoshop, tmd i photoshop till like some nub. Damn pekcek laa. But nvm, since i dont even photoshop those photo i take. The quality also-___- BUT MY HAIR IS BROWN RIGHT HA HA HA

So i cut my hairrrrr! Hahehowoo, like finally no more bun! Mass convo ppfer will probably say i'm some freak with fetish for cutting hair but to me its like giving myself a change of mood. Yeah, i used to change my mood once every 2 months^^ Aiya whatever, i think its one of the moodswinggggg. Must be the haircut, must be.

WHATS WITH MEEE, kk whatever. Psst, when i use whatever means i'm confused and bs. Exactly like -insert word here- Okay lets not get carried away, tags replies shall do, i dont care if its way back or what. I dont.

JERRAD QIQI SHITFU.
Xiaohui; LOL you and your whinee[x
swanser; that post was the beeeest and jin>you. or was that yamapi's photo?
elaine; biaaatch^^V
ribena; my sister, not me. *point at profile>_>*
mr dunno; relinked. your first crush was[x!
iLLu; icecreeeeeeeeam!
dako; we love mr rgs yo!
Xiaohui; it was prettty bad huh.
jerrad; jin/yamapi>you and your eddie/mushroomjam.
elaine; white xmas, luvluvluv!
jerrad; my emo is coooolz!
elaine; relinked yo replied. i blog on unexpected times right!
bnd; thanks for trying to be nice.
si-ling; sorry, late reply so i guess no tag for you[x
iLLu; thanks linlin^^V!
hi; o.O jaa ne.
Edward Cullens; nice name, took me a second staring at it.
elaine; o.O O.o O.O.
elaine; HAHHAHA THANKS AH BIATCH. HCHC LUVLUVLUV.
dako;rgs tagged me i'm so touched[x
iLLu; jasmine's unglam D:
dako; transformer is.. more like dako rgs what!
iLLu;rgs is wols! /drama
dako; LOL tsaf you head.
iLLu; HAHHAHA.
dako; omg my tag replies like all related to you and your rgs!
iLLu; CHIJ pri->rgs x]
dako; HAHAH you think rgs elite then can bully us izzit!
iLLu; mwahah your entry!
oh; eh, okay? even though i dont get it.
dako; okay! i want rgs' grad cert! CAN SELL CAN SHOWOFF.
pas;spammmer , fat mushroom is one of a kind too, like rareee! YAY JOB JOB.
jerrad; i hate you qiqi shitfu. "Trying to get to the thoughts yet they just seem to disappear says:
i gave you all my trust and you threw them back in my face."
elaine; (: hehehe.

I realise my tag replies are filled with chatting about rgs "zehzeh" -_-

jaa ne bunnnnn.

This is like the most glam photo out of all those shitfu posted lah, and i didnt even know this exist. And do you see that stupid red cut on my leg? HENGSWANSER, YOU GUILTY ANOT HUH.

Goodbye, funny or what, my itune's playing goodbye.

2008-11-03T20:08:00.017+08:00

After mistreating my fugly hated N81 for less than 1 year, it have decided its time to get back to me and screw up on me. Hais, but its okay i luv nokia cause i'm getting it back on Wednesday! Its time to sit back and wait for nov the thirrrrrteeen to come to me(: Anyway, should i post up very incredibly super unglam photos? Aye, i've to backup all my phone's memory and wasted pretty much effort as i couldnt figure out pcsuite's backup plans and to a certain bitch named elaine ong, using her phone to transfer photos will freaking screw it up like what i did to all my other phones and and also its not like much people will see them anyway.

HAHHAHHA QIQI SHIFU, YOU WIN THE I LOOK MOST RETARDED LOOK HANDS DOWN!

Okay anyway, guess i wont beable forget you guys, even though upper sec with you childish biansainiao people family life've been somewhat a piece of blank and empty memory yet to be filled, its hard to forget those retarded nicknames they've given me. Though my vote'll surely go to niaoniao cause its so cuteee. Uhoh sorry if i've ruin any of your prefect image, go ahead and get angry with me. Then at least i've left an impact, forget about you leaving one, teeehee thats the point HA.I'm pretty sure i wont beable to find another group of friends like that, well cause cloning is not possible yet(duh) And also i couldnt say we care every much for one another, neither can say they know me inside out or vice versa. I guess we're pretty much just a class clique, thus couldn't say that we've been through ups and downs, aye i just wish i can pen my thoughts down better than this. But then nobody can deny the friendship. Strong or weak, build to last or fair weathered friends, thats not for me to judge and only time can tell. And also, no matter how strong a friendship is, friends still pretty much come and go, soooooo yeah . Either way its still the same ending. Ya get my drift? Drift drift drift. Oh anyway i couldnt find any picture of yj or sh. Theres a video which include yijie yet i cant bring myself to post it due to those retarded actions of mine. And for the latter, i kinda push her over the edge and i got pushed out of her wonderful life. Or vice versa, actually its and vice versa.

I admit that right at the moment i got myself into cchms, i hated this shithole with all my gut. I know four years haven't been long, yet it definitely wasn't short. And i'd probably give it a pass if i were to be given another chance to let all these happen again, it's just so great i can't bring myself into all the torture. But on second thoughts, maybe i'd just do it for the fun times. HAHEHOWOO DRAMA DRAMA.

Obviously i haven't forgotten the bimbos, even though we haven't been hanging out much, being busy with our own lives and olevels, and other stuffs but thats not the point. Ohoh i just realise that i don't have any photo and dewi in my phone, its unfair how she have all our unglam photos but i found something...

HAHEHOWOO.

AND MUSHROOM HEAD TO THE RESCUEEEE.

Haa seem like its just yesterday that we're working our ass out at mos. Anyway, life so won't be the same without them. And without them cchms would pretty much suck even more than it already is.

And oh a lighter note, heres proof that im out of cchms. Ha fat hope, obviously i'm not showing you the stupid face, in your dreams maybe.

Talk about being in a cheena school._. Kay lah i shall not be so mean(in case i get sabo) I post retarded pictures of myself also okay. Please dont take revenge on me, i luv you allx1000000. Imma inform all of you through msn offline message! Qiqi 438, you know hor, i still have that photo of your house one leh. You know hor what you should do with my retarded photos already hor. Luv you wor.*VOMIT BLOOD*

Me in messy hair and SPECTS. This is is your one and only chance, now go say thanks to the dry soon to be expired contacts and lousy eyedrop.

OMG WE LOOK SO.. IN JAIL.

Remind me not to do picture post anymore, its just so troublesome.

2008-10-24T21:07:00.004+08:00

Luv luv luv.

A picture tells a thousand words, while words explains a thousand meaning. Depending on whether you focus on the word on the wallpaper or that of my profile(: Hais, lets all ganganganbatte.
Halfway done, oh some hard rocky halfway more to go.

2008-10-13T17:59:00.002+08:00

I feel a sudden surge of sadness for not feeling a thing about graduating. Its like feeling so alone in a crowd full of strangers. Who'd remember me ten years down the road? Or should i ask myself who'd i miss? Well well who is there to really miss? If you think you should be one, please drop your names on my inbox at 999 Bad Man Road and apply to be remembered, if not i'll just forget you. Please include at least 10 reasons why you should make it into the list of VIPs. HA. Harsh cold reality is so darn scary, it slapped me hard on my face. Yup, we'd never walk alone cause we're so used to it, we don't feel a thing about it anymore. You can't exactly say that we're going on our separate ways cause we aint even heading for the same direction in the very first place. So since there's nothing to begin with, tell me how can i feel sad?

What the hell am i wasting my emotions on? I shall get off and start hitting the books.

2008-10-10T20:52:00.002+08:00

Being showered with confidence and having them is two different things. Its like heaven and hell, or double the latter. Ah, make that triple.
You're chill, i'm tensed. You break up, i breeeeak down. Nope i'm not breaking down, am already broken.
HAIS HAIS HAIS *insert sad smiley*

2008-09-15T11:35:00.023+08:00

WTF WTF WTF WTF LA.

I'M HAPPILY WATCHING MY KUROSAGI AND THIS THING SCREWED UP ON ME. But its alright cause i shall watch my Code Blue now. Hais hais hais, i've been using hais so much because i think that its super qianbian. So is hahehowoo. And (: or (((((: those two faces are the most qianbian following after ^^! They're like filled with total sarcasm hor. Hahehowoo.

Yay for no school. But i woke up at 9am plus due to some random sms and i couldnt go back to sleep anymore, die i tell you die. The next time i see you imma kill you. HA LAWL. Hais hais hais, its so scary being all alone at home(!!) Even though its early in the morrrrrning, ah actualy afternoon, but but but, i keep hearing people's footsteps and voices! CAN THEY STOP WALKING PASS MY HOUSE! ELAINEEEEEEE FASTER COME BACK LAAAAAA. Ahhh, someone come save me, i'm scared DDDD:

Hahehowoo oh yeah, i've been blogshopping(: And also successfully claimed the money, soon soon those payments will be on my hands! MWAHAHA, luv luv luv daddddddy wor. I love the pro looking black dress shirt even though i like the grey one alot too. Hais hais, imma steal the grey one from fatbitch but i guess hers might be too big for me, hahehowoo. I FINALLY AM GETTING MY QIANBIAN/CUTE SMILEY FACE HOODIE SHIRT *HEARTS HEARTS HEARTS.* And lastly, the stupid rainbow hoodie that pissed me off. 438, you watch it hor. But hahehowoo, i love the rainbow hoodie too! Luv luv luv luv. I showed my dad the pictures and he said that the rainbow hoodie is fugly D: BAD TASTE SIAA. Its so kawaiii, but having the same hoodie with qianbian people is just not my cup of tea lo. Aw, so sad so sad. But sigh. i have yet to get my long cardigan and i regretted getting those two tees from bugis D:

Hahehowoo, i shall eat my BK breakfast while watching code blue. SCREW AZNVTV. The web must be like ppf, powered by hamsters farm nia.

/edit.
Code Blue is so touching. Its a wonder how people wanna live till their last breath, without any regrets. Its a wonder how strong-willed some people are, how they see light in darkness. Its a wonder how some people fill themselves with hope even though in actual fact there isnt much left. The bottom line is, we shall not take life lightly(: There are people out there doing all out just to stay in this world, with us. This is the first time i'm gald to cry my heart out for a drama. Thats why i say Yamapi is so talented^^V. Hais hais, i bet my eyes will be swollen tomorrow.

Everyone work so hard
in order to be a person who is needed by someone else.

This drama is so inspirational ne.

Its not painful because you cant forget.
Its painful because you forget.

2008-09-13T00:21:00.013+08:00

Hello its me nante, i realised that nothing is troublesome, neither is anything hard to accomplish. Its either you wanna try doing it or you dont wanna. Self-denial is just an excuse for people to run away, and its my best friend too. Oh oh, time for me to get rid of this gayshit best friend. I should stop giving up cause trying doesnt kill. Not trying does. Bang bang! Does it make you happy? Cause it made me over the mooon(:! Ah ah at least i was once a part of something and and i can have good time looking back. A part of me feel happy(?) while another feels empty. Just simply because you've changed, are you still the same person who can make me hate you and smile at the same time? Maybe maybe but sigh, giving me hopes just when i'm on the urge of giving up is just so hahehowoo, hais hais hais. Lets take the luv train take the luv train. Lyrics lyrics are luv luv luv.

HAHEHOWOO. Why is everyone saying that i'm being random when saying hahehowoo? It isn't random, its a combination of haha hehe hoho and woo! AINT IT CUTE, HAHEHOWOOO! Ha ha ha actually come to think about it, it is actually pretty random. I shall thanks fat bitch for giving me this wonderful inspiration, actually i should thanks her nub internet. Thanks to it, talking to her on msn make both of us look like retards and its all her fault! Too lazy to show dumb chatlogs. Hahehowoo.

Talking about msn, baitch, yes elaine its you, and i have been talking to each other when we're just less than 2m away, using different computers when we can easily speak to each other HAHA DAMN FUNNY LO. We're a pair of cool qianbian sisters. We even sms each other at home hahehowoo.

Val's house was greeeat! I WANNA SLEEPOVER HAHAHAA.

THE BELOW WORDS/LINES/SENTENCES/PARAGRAPH ARE REQUESTED BY

MAN JING QI, one of the 438s.

Does everyone know what a bitch she is? She want a kind and innocent girl like me to attack her on my dear blog! She totally forced me to insult her and make personal attacks on her to show the whole wide world(not like anyone visits this) what a 38 she is and at the same time make me look bad because i'm the one doing all the scolding D: SHES SO MEAN RIGHT. She is so cunning like that Wei Xiao Bao or whatever his name is lo. See how shes trying to twist the truth and make me the bad person! CAN YOU SEE HOW SHES TELLING EVERYONE THAT I'M BLOGGING ABOUT BAD THINGS ABOUT HER! CAN YOU SEE IT? YOU MUST HAVE RECEIVED HER SMS TOO! Evil bitch i tell you, such a two sided person right, she just told me she wont inform anyone about this and the next minute i received her mass sms, telling everyone in her contacts to visit my blog! This stupid girl sent it to me too. *pretends to be zehzeh* Dumbarse. I hate her the most, of so many millions of people in this world, I CHOOSE HER. Because its so easy to hate a dumbarse, right zehzeh? I know i've given one of the 438s too much attention, so imma be fair and give zehzeh some attention too, maybe tomorrow. Dont you think i'm such a nice friend(: Back to the personal attack shit. You know right jing qi hor, shes so extra one lo. Class gathering she also last to know, clique outing worst sia! WE NEVER EVEN ASK HER DE LOR. Then she know we going out and appear out of nowhere and go out with us lo. ALWAYS LIKE THAT ONE CAN, SO EXTRA LAH. You never see in school she always walk alone one, so loneeeeeely. I mean loner, cause she hor attitude so bad de lor. People ban her from the house already still die die wanna come. Somemore go people house anyhow sleep here sleep there dirty the place can! That two times she come my house you know i clean the whole house for 1 week anot! Clean already come again then i have to clean for another week sia! THINK I VERY FREE AH. Wa, this paragraph so damn long sia, i got alot more to complain about her can! SHE HOR, SO QIANBIAN ONE. See her face wanna slap sia. Always say she go home study, my ass lo she so lazy like will study like that sia. Liar liar pants on fire, i bet she burnt alot of her pants already lo. Everyday lie like 10230124124 times, i totally cant stand liars. I HATE HER I HATE YOU 三八, JAA NE.

HAHAHAHA, HAPPY ANOT?! THE PARAGRAPH SO DAMN LONG CAN. OMG I'VE GIVEN YOU SO MUCH ATTENTION THAT I PITY MY BLOG SO I SHALL POST SOMETHING KAWAII:D

This represent my what the fuck face^^

Its the feeling of skipping a beat. Skip skip skip skip.

2008-09-12T01:15:00.003+08:00

Its not in me to adjust to your nonsense, its just not possible(:

Yours truly is more than so dead for the last few papers. I suggest Amaths to be rename as Abusive maths, i tell you its like mentally torturing, much worst than that actually. Though prelims are so last week, wait i mean this afternoon. And the big osxzzz are just in a month's time. This is news to me cause i've just been informed about this only today. Ohmygodgwadgosh ahmitohfou, since when did we grow up this quickly huh huh huh. Part of me can't wait to get out of this sickening school, class and life, yet the other just want things to stay the same, be it being good or bad. I'm in for it as long as its a habit. Well, at least it means i'm used to it. Do you get my drift desu?

Ohoh, i see a different side of myself recently. Being a girl without any dream or goal in life, i've always been quiet and filled with envy when others talk about what they wanna make themselves into, say five years down the road. Even though i still do not have a future job to be, other than wanting to be a rich taitai, getting a high pay job which is stress-free and slack, being a pro middle age woman who young girls look up to or even being a cute fat ahma. Me, jasmine ong wants to live life to the fullest, or i'd rather take nothing. Everything or nothing. -Part deleted due to not wanting bad omen- I'm someone who want a life that is meaningful and not typical. The best or nothing at all. Ha i bet nobody get me but thats my point, so its alright!

In order to keep a healthy lifestyle, also know as dieting in the right way, i'm planning to do the following.

-Drink at least 5 bottles of plain water per day.
-2/3 cups of plain water every morning.
-Do at least 50squats a day.
-50situps everyday/everyother day.
-Skip 500times every other day.
-Breakfast earliest at 11am.
-Either take lunch at 3/4pm or skip lunch and take early dinner.
-Do at least 3 per day!

HAHAHA. 5bottles, checked. 2cups of water, checked. 50squats, checked. No breakfast, checked. Late lunch and skipped dinner, checked. 50situps maybe later. I shall begin skipping in hope of growing tallllller later today. Sigh, i got fatter due to prelims. Breakfast, lunch, teabreak, chips, cookies, chocolates and dinner. Must burn them. Now. 45kg and nothing more now now now D:

Pictures of bitch's birthday celebration last sunday and today's movie hangout ha ha ha. Damn, why are people around me are either bitches or 438s! Ooh, boys over flower is pretty alrightttttt. Maybe i expected too much aha. D: They didnt show kurosagi's trailer lo! HAHA MORE SISTER BONDINGGGGGGG!

LIKE JIN'S CHILDISH SMILE HOR.

MY AH MAA SO CUTE! And i'm tall:D
-

HEHEHE.

OKAY OFF TO SLEEP.

~~I dont know you anymore, i'm living in the past, since long.~~ HAHEHOWO AW.

2008-09-05T16:12:00.005+08:00

Pity me for getting stuck with two childish 438 desu.

And i just realised my blog is honto ni(?) screwed in FF desu, screw firefox desu. Ha ha ha.

2008-09-03T21:45:00.002+08:00

Hello nante its me!

Slept at around 2am this morning, suppose to do proofing/proving on the phone with two 438s but ended up talking most of the time. More like trying to decide about tommorow, ended without any conclusion, gosh gosh gosh. I think i'm dead for prelims, for Os for everything. Most depressingly, i cant get amaths anymore. SINCE WHEN DID IT GET THIS HARD, OMGGGGGZZZZZ. I need to study yet i've been watching shows. I wasted my time watching why why love,omgzzz wor horse face. Taiwanese drama are so irritating lo, the actors and actresses are so predictable just like their storyline but theres still this surge of urge and determination coming from it, getting you to keep going and going till you reach the end! The media sterotyped love with such perfection that though it won't be a smooth ride, it'd till have a pretty end to it. Yeah yeah like this exist in reallife, more like extinct. Ahhhh no more exposing me to any more stupid show ah i'm just so glad i'm totally not interested in fated to love you, i have no idea why too! HAHAA._____. Whatever lo. Must.study.now.soon.later.later.

So into these shit these day ha ha ha monster jin sound so cute siaa. MONSTER JIN MONSTER JIN, KAWAIII!

1) Are you really ready for 63 questions?
. You sure you have 63 of them for me?

2) Do you believe in God?
∙ Yup.

3) Who did you last hug?
∙ I dont do hugging.

4) Do you regret it?
∙ Hugging?

5) Have you ever been depressed?
∙ Right this moment.

6) Have a best friend?
∙ Best friend are for gheys.

7) Are you a boy or girl?
∙ Are you stupid or are you dumb?

8) What is your relationship status?
∙ Away, haaaaaaaaaaaaaaa right.

9) What did you last eat?
∙ Dinner.

10) Play any sports?
∙ Not anymore.

11) Do you play an instrument?
∙ Does piano toy count?

12) Do you bite your nails?
∙ Bad habit of mine/:

13) Tom from friendster is about to go to jail, what's your first thought?
∙ Is fugly jerry going with him?

14) Do you have an attitude?
∙ Does being darn friendly and not having a mind of my own sound better to you?

15) Have you ever been in love?
. Maybe, define being in love first.

16) What is your real name?
∙ Starx, honto ne!

17) Do you like reading?
∙ I miss comics D:

18) Are you gonna get high later?
∙ HOW ABOUT NOW HAHAHHAA.

19) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
∙ Define hate.

20) Do you miss someone?
∙ Yes no yes no maybe.

21) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
∙ You mean theres people who cut them?!

22) Who is your best friend's uncle's cousin's girlfriend's daughter's boyfriend?
∙ TOMMMMY.

23) Ya diggin' them white girls?
∙ Ya digging your nose now?

24) Do you tan a lot?
∙ Not at all.

25) Have any pets?
∙ I'm scared of animals.

26) How exactly are you feeling?
∙ HIGH HIGH HIGH.

27) What are you doing at the moment?
∙ Msn sms and this thing.

28) Are Barbie & Ken bad influences on people?
. Aint they too expensive for their size?

29) Do you regret anything from your past?
∙ Pretty much everything.

30) Do you want to have kids?
. Yeah, i need someone to fund me to tour around the world!

31) Ever kissed somebody that's name started with a T?
∙ T to the i to the u to the q to the c ksao! LOL.

32) Do you type fast?
∙ Faster than you^^

33) Do you have piercings?
∙ Yup.

34) Want any more?
. Yeah, but i scare painD:

35) Can you spell well?
- I cant, honsetly. LOL HONESTLY.

36) Do you miss anyone from your past?
∙ A little too much.

37) What are you craving right now?
∙ Noone can get sick of chocolateee! Or yam paste.

38) What should you be doing?
∙ Studyingggggggg, gosh.

39) What's your favorite day?
∙ Sat?

40) Have you done anything bad recently?
∙ Nope, cant you see i'm such a innocent kid!

41) Does somebody love you?
∙ Do i look like a bitch who dont deserve any?

42) Whats your favorite color?
∙ Black pink grey brown.

43) So are you liking this survey?
∙ Getting coldeeer.

44) Do you have trust issues?
∙ Hard to trust, want to be trusted yet do not want too.

45) Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
∙ Lulz lulz maybe maybe not.

46) What song do you want her to sing?
∙ Good fucking bye HAHAHHA.

47) Should this survey stop?
∙ Sure, my Attention Please've finished loading.

48) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
. So have you?

49) Do you think you're a good person?
∙ ARE YOU BLIND? OBVIOUSLY^^

50) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
∙ Karma is scary shit.

53)Do you take showers?
∙ I take baths, wait its the same thing!

52) Last time you had a nice bubble bath?
∙ Since young, baby pool poool poool.

53) Do you play the Wii?
∙ Nuh.

54) How do you feel about Fairprice?
∙ What do i have to feel about it?

55) Are you mean?
∙ If you aint nice, yeah.

56) Can you keep white shoes clean?
∙ Wouldnt be able to.

57) Have you noticed this survey stopped getting personal?
∙ Yeah, and getting boring at the same time hor.

58) Are you proud of the person you've become?
∙ Nope, too young for this.

59) Do you wanna change?
∙ People change everyday.

60) Who was the last person to make you mad?
. Dont remember.

61) Do you like the outside?
∙ Outside the inside, inside the out.

62) Are you currently bored?
∙ Extremeeeeeely.

63) Do you want to get married?
∙ Depends.

I'M OFF TO WATCH MY ATTENTION PLEASE. And then sleep and i'll study the next morning/afternoon! I WILL I MUST I HAVE GOT NO CHOICE, I HAVE TO!

2008-09-01T21:45:00.005+08:00

1) Where is the person you want most right now?
; Do akanishi jin count? Japan, if not singapore lo.

2) What are 2 things that mean a lot to you?
; Anything that means something to me is alot.

3) Where will you be 12 hours from now?
; Ask me 12 hours later.

4) Who has your heart lately?
; Its intact or else shouldnt i be dead by now?

5) When did you last cry?
; Want me to do it now?

6) Can you make yourself cry?
; Duh.

7) What are you planning to do today?
; Msn and then sleep.

8) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
; Yesh!

9) What are your favorite colors?
; Black grey pink

10) Have you ever kissed someone with first letter F?
; No wor.

11) Have you ever fainted?
; Really wanna try.

12) What are you doing tomorrow?
; Out studying

13) Are you easily confused?
; I confuse people easily.

14) Do you think you would make a good wife/husband?
; Do you think you suck?

15) What's your favorite kind of ice cream?
; Chocolateeeee!

16) Do you like coffee?
; Depends on my mood.

17) Do you like summer?
; Chilly is wayyyy better.

18) Is your current hair color mostly your natural hair color?
; Yes luv luv.

19) Where were you at 8am this morning?
; Airport's macs.

20) Do you fall for people easily?
; I got tripped easily though

21) How was your day today?
; Pretty bad bad bad.

22) How was the week?
; Its only monday yo!

23) What are your biggest turn offs?
; Attention whores, ahem.

24) Favorite to wear?
; Shorts and tees.

25) Do you prefer being single or taken?
; Singleeee unless fairytale exist.

26) Has the opposite sex been in your room before?
; Yeah.

27) What do you do when you have a bad day?
; Whine and cry and seek for attention. YARLY

28) Would you get married right now if you could?
; With akanishi jin, maybe!

29) What will you do on Sunday?
; How'd i know!

30) What’s your least favorite food?
; Plenty!

31) What are you most afraid of?
; I totally love animals, really.
.
32) What sounds good right now?
; Anything by jin/KAT-TUN/NEWS.

33) What was the last thing you drank?
; Some health drink?

34) Are you a really understanding person?
; I can be one, if i want to.

35) What's tomorrow?
; 明天?

36) How are you feeling?
; Tired and depressed. Anti amaths.

37)A fact about the person you don't like?
; Bitch.

38) What happened at 10:00 am today?
; I bet one of the 438s was doing something qianbian.

39) Are you wearing anything you borrowed from someone?
; I'm in my sleeping clothes!

40) Something you just don't understand?
; People, thoughts.

41) What is the last thing someone bought you?
; Yay for mcgriddles!

42) When was the last time you saw number 3 on your top friends?
; What talking you?

43) Where did you last eat?
; Yijie's house.

44) Name someone whose name starts with the letter "K"?
; Kamenashi, first one which came to my mind. Serious.

45) Who's the most person you miss right now?
; I've a long list of them.

46) Do you plan on moving out in the next year?
; Hell no!

47) What were you doing at 11:30pm last Friday night?
; Sleeping!

48) Honestly, how many people have you really been in love with?
; Luv is in the air wor. 3315569167434311!

49) Do you have a job?
; Nopeee.

50) What are you doing besides this survey?
; Msning.

51) What are your plans in the future?
; Get stupid Os over and done with.

52) What is your current problem?
; Geog, amaths, chem, bio, ss, physics, emaths, english.

53) What's your hobby?
; Playing!

54) Who was the last person you saw?
; Elaine the bitch bitch bitch bitch.

55) Who is the last person you freaked out on?
; Anyone can do that.

56) Do you like someone right now?
; Sure do.

57) Do you regret anything that you have done?
; Anyone who answer no to this question is lying.

58) Do you get pissed off easily?
; Kinda.

BORING QUIZ LO. Koped from elaine, her ystd one was so much more interesting! Ha ha ha ha. I like doing quiz cause i can give random answers! Ohohoh.

On the last train, my last stop with you.

2008-08-29T12:37:00.000+08:00

Time for a update though everyone elses are going on hiatus, i shall not follow the coward, oops i mean crowd. Going against the cureent and update update update. Because i feel like it, because i'm feel blessed now, because i'm high now, because i'm in a super good mood now. Because of the little things that complete the world, blogging doesnt seem like that much of a hassle anymore(:

I bet i'd be thinking about how stupid i'm to get all hyper for this, but i still am and this is even more effective than the spring mat laa! Which is already very effective to begin with, so means i win liao HAHAHAHAA. Okay, whatever zihigh. And since i've got so much energy to waste, i shall do a little tag replies dated sincee god knows when!

bnd; waa, cip so long alr. meow meow rocks wor
zhiheng; haa yeah so dead.
elaine; thanks for your recent one
sihua/swanser; i dont get it alr
elaine;赤西仁！
mr dunno; i did my uh, 80hours alr^^
anon; and another month.
jerrad; omg, 4388888.
elaine; wagamama kudasai!
mr dunno; will do ha.
xiaohui; my akanshi jin more cute than bianbian wor^^
sihua; last properly talked, yes maybe
elaine; thanks bitch!
sihua;^^V!
xiaohui; AWW, niaoniao love bianbian also wor omgzz.
pas; you call that hawt? its more like your bugged.
jerrad; lesbian sisters sia omg saisai sia sia.
elaine; hello its me nante.
bnd; contradicting much?
xiaohui; jin rock.
elaine; wheres my pressie, bitch.
pas; aww, too bad its mine!
jerrad; jin is shuai no matter what:D
sihua; aww, sihuaaaaaaaaaa^^
pas; ladybug.
dako; HA REPLIED!

HEHEHE. This doesnt mean i dont think prelims aint killers, i've got a week to do all the worrying. Ha, i'm just too overjoy now for my own stupid reason ha ha ha. Just like a little girl in a amusement park. Or a little boy with his new toy car. Or an old grandma celebrating her 100th birthday. Drama oh drama yo.

Got me to thinking am i overlooking the care and concern from the people around me, why am i always choosing the easiest and toughest way out? Why am i always running away from every single thing? I run away from things i detest, things i adore and things which doesnt even make any difference to me. I keep retreating till i miss the bad and the also, the good. I'm dumb i'm stupid i'm careless i'm selfish i'm a coward. Aw, i'd try to change. I'm willing to swallow all the bad events for i do not want regret anymore. I cant afford it anymore, imma die inside.

Aw, my transition is way great right! HAHAA, i'm so happy i think i dont have to sleep anymore!

Every last word, every single thing you say.

2008-08-10T22:56:00.002+08:00

I just learnt a new definition for friend. I'm not being selfish but i'm not sure what is it in words, though the damage's done. Fuck myself for having thoughts about not being able to cry anymore.

Maybe this is my punishment for taking bitches for granted.

2008-08-10T20:09:00.006+08:00

click to enlarge enlarge enlarge enlarge.

dont ya miss your hair? dont worry, your dumb face's intact.

Fair bitchyness, so noone loses out wor. Got stuck with 38 cause dewi bitch got tuition. Cant help but to post some funny shit. Oh by the way, i love my 赤西仁 shirt can!

This is what i call summary.

2008-08-09T17:01:00.011+08:00

IT FEELS GREAT TO BE SIXTEEN WOR.

Hello, its me nante.

People get emotional breakdowns when they're at their extreme ends. While i get them when my birthday's around the corner. I'm pretty extreme, yeah i think so too. Reminds me of "I AGREE"'s lag time, a inside joke is the most suitable shit here just to break this depressing post apart. But actually breaking down or whatever is pretty fine with me, cause i cant seem to find a decent way to demand fedex to send all my stress far far far away. I've notice i'm either behaving like some crazy bimbo who is high on drug or some irritating bitch. Yes, i've noticed, so sorry people please forgive me, its the time of the year. So lets all say ah ah ah kan ni shi akanishi jin!

Thanks bitches charins dewi pascalle. Nobody in the right mind would forget getting blind folded walking around aimlessly like an idiot who just got kidnapped by two other idiots. I'm quite glad to have friends like you guys. Quite lah, not bad haaaa. Sakae's like our trademark. I really did used the purse today theres picture as evidence too LULZ! Even though the towel is yellow ugly aad random but i like it wor. Thanks charlene tania tingting for the flowers and cute massage bear, sorry for doubting and doubting cause i was damn shocked and you guys got qianbian faces that looked as if like you all are playing a prank on me! Thanks swanser bianniao jiejie for your self proclaim cute pig wor. And also my third, fourth, fifth aunts and grandma for their presents! Thanks dad for the lunch and ipod earpiece and money! Thanks mum for the cake and thanks elaine the bitch for nothing(: I LOVE YOU ALL! LULZ LULZ LULZ. And those who've wished ^^ and those who've forgotten about it can just go die now(: But its alright, i've the whole singapore celebrating it for me wor.

NOW, LET ME PRESENT YOU MY..

-
-
-
-
-
-
-

LOVELY FAT AH MA❤❤

AND MY CHOCOLATE CAKE!

Nope, i'm not really back into blogging but i just want my two-years-later-self who maybe scanning through the archives to always remember this very moment wor.

p/s: dont ya think a great dream makes a bad reality? Like cmon, imagine waking up from heaven and finding yourself back on earth once again. Sucks big time.
p/s: i got my phone a new screen protector and it look damn new, i hope it can last for at least 3months! let me count, is this the third one or the fourth?
p/s: i dont abuse my phone.
p/s: i love my xcountry shirt, i'm wearing it out again and again and again!
p/s: i know this is a random random random post.
p/s: jaa ne.

2008-07-25T21:22:00.005+08:00

Quality or quantity, which one would you choose?

For me, definitely quality. For example, I'd rather have a few good friends than a bunch of acquaintance. Although not everyone feels this way because theres always this attention thing that almost everyone is rushing desperately to, and this thing with popularity.

/Sighszx! Aint reality just too cruel for innocent people like me? Ha.

Off to complete the 40th ep of kat-tun's tv show by tonight!

❤SUGEEEEEE!

2008-07-19T16:38:00.016+08:00

My blog address isnt even on my IE's recent visited urls, thats it if thats the name for it. I dont visit here anymore, so you shouldnt too.

-

But that dont stop me from updating when i feel like it. Oh yeah, by the way. PASCALLE MUSHHEAD(YES THATS HER NEW SURNAME) IS A FUCKING BITCH WHO ANYHOW DROP PEOPLE'S PRECIOUS PHONE AND DOESNT FEEL BAD. Ah, there i won the bet! Now gimme my prize which is i-have-no-idea-what.

So today is supposingly mini primary school gathering and the usage of the word mini is pretty much suitable! Itai itai itai itai, we shouldnt even try to ask like four pathetic people who are all looking forward to this plan yet all couldnt be able to make it! Shouldnt they be happy we actually chose to ask them?! So anyway, its back to point one two girls outing, not like theres any complain. Cause its better this way for small gathering, or wont it be prettyyyy awkward? I mean, yes it will! Talking about all those long lost friends, it seemed as though everyone's a changed person, a bunch of strangers to me. So soon, we'll all be heading towards another transition of our lives, aint we? I mean next year at this moment i wont be hanging out with bimbos neither will i be hanging out with JT's clique, aint it. Yeah yup we'll all keep in touch yup yup yup and i wonder why the changes between primary school to secondary school and from sec2 to sec3 is still such a huge one. Changes in environment wise my dears, i aint referring to people. Everyone's scared of the big big Os while i'm here fearing of all the changes that will be taking place, its not like i'm not terrified of Os, i'm alot more unprepared than anyone else, I am. But i hate changes. I really hate them, i'm scared, very very scared.

JUST JOKING. I cant wait to end secondary school's life! I'm really tired of all these shit. Ha ha ha ha ha har har haaaaaar. I wonder whats wrong with me, i'm suppose to be in good mood today! Must be the wagamama bitch and and must be the raaaaaaain! Though i so love the rain, irony huh huh huh? Anyway, the reason why i havent been updating is due to Akanishi jin! (Other than feeling lazy and thinking that blogging is so the boring and feeling lazy) HAHAHAHA I LOVE HIM. AINT HE CUTE/SHUAI/COOL?! Way better than some middle aged uncles, i've got great taste. I wonder why stupid Johnny(Yamapi and Jin's company) never let Yamapi and Jin work together! Lets call them Pin! LULZ LULZ LULZ. Thats what people call them, i'm not so lame to invent such things lo. Jin and Pi are such good friends and i bet it'll be darn good if they are able to act or sing together! I bet its because of the fact one show cant have two leads! DD: But i wanna see them act together! SO CUTE, I MEAN KAWAII AND SHUAI.

Ohmygosh fucking innocent right!

CANNOT STAND IT LAA SO CUTE.

OKAY JAA NE WOR.

ps/did i mention i cant stand my hair yet i cant bear to cut it. CANT STAND IT.

2008-06-02T22:07:00.008+08:00

SCREW 502 ERROR.
I'm so freaking pissed just by trying to get into the stupid blogger! Maybe its fate that i should stop blogging, maybe. But then i got in now, so yeah. I've got this baluguuu, or whatever its called, on my head and i didnt even realise it till i bathe! Ouch, double ouch, triple ouch. i bet its swanser's fault. OH YEAH I HATE HENG SWANSER FULLSTOP Irritating siaaa, she've been wasting jingqi's and my life since last year and she just made us run and run and run. And then theres this bump on my head! No, i'm not dedicating this post to that bitch, HAHAAA.

Lets talk about how shopping is pissing me off and how blogshopping can be as troublesome too. Yet the only difference is at the end of blogshopping, you'll not feel like dying nor tired and still not get anything. Howeveeeeer, lets just say that the clothes differ by 378degrees from those the models are wearing and those stocks in real life. Secondly, its supeeer irritating when something that you're eyeing on is sold. DONUT BOX D:(!!!) Lastly, we may get scammed like elaine's friends! I hope our blogshopping experience will begin with a great start, though we can only find out about it at around 20th june?

Alright, i just cant stand an unupdated blog and neither do i want to actually blog. Oh oh, do head towards eelayne@bs.com! for my funny post! I just cant bring myself to post it here cause i'm just too nice and softhearted D:!

OHYEAH I CANT WAIT FOR KUROSAGI TO BE SHOWING ON SINGAPORE'S SCREEEEEEEEEEN. It better be out soon or imma spam GV/Shaw/Cathay.

So long, dead blog.

You play a pretty big role in my life. I guess.

2008-05-24T22:18:00.010+08:00

Sometimes the heart takes unexpected turns.

Sometimes the heart takes unexpected turns.
Sometimes the heart takes unexpected turns.
Sometimes the heart takes unexpected turns.

2008-05-17T16:40:00.006+08:00

今天早上四点多有好大的火啊！
来来我们爱华文，我们爱喵喵！

Okay, i give up. I hate chinese Os(more like dreading it://), i hate meow meoooow! That cheena sentence above actually took me 4 freaking minutes to type out! Dont you dare to laugh, its hard okay D:

So, imagine waking up at four in the morning seeing everyone rushing out of the house in panic, wondering if thats a dream. Okay, i admit i was sleeping like a pig, not even affected by the pretty loud burning of plastic(?)and commotion made by the kpo singaporeans at the various blocks! Lawllawllawl. I probably wont know about the fire happening downstairs at the stupid pasamalam if it wasnt for my mum's "Oie, wake up lah. FIREEEEEEE! Zao lah." It was so big, we all thought the fire was actually happening at 3rd floor because the flames are so darn big that it can actually be reflected off! IT WAS DAMN SCARY AND UNBELIEVABLE LAH! That was the first time i see all my neighbours too! Its like some block bonding except everyones watching the fire, doesnt that shows how much we know each other?! HA HA. The firemen are so not cool because they cant stop the fire without any water and they came without any water at all so all they can do is staring at the fire and letting it burn the whole place down, doing nothing! Woah, what a long long long sentence hor. Anyway, wondered what they came for! And i also wondered what the police came for, i mean they're totally zuo bo-ing lah! Tsk, must be kpo also, like those people who came out of nowhere looking at how the fire is put out, i caught them red handed with pictures can, but then i'm lazy to upload and i guess elaine the bitch'll be uploading them, so do look out for her. Uploading photos is so freaking mafan so photos cause i say so! Aiya, whatever lah. So thats the reason why i overslept today and didnt attend english, even though i didnt intend to go due to what a lazy ass i'm! Ouch, okay bye i'm off to watch the whatever show i wanna watch. Yeah lah, i have no idea whats the stupid name. Har har harrrrr!

So what do you take me for? I dont wanna know anything anymore, so neither should you. What do you call this, hey whats that term again? Hi-bye friend? Or is it fair-weather friend? Hm, good for ya cause i dont give two shit anymore. I wont and i'm not gonna. If you feel like it, you can just fuck off from my life, i welcome you to do so! Seriously.
Oh, ranting about nothing is just my cup of tea. Boooooo.

2008-05-11T21:53:00.001+08:00

HAPPY MOTHERS' DAY!

HA HA HA. I've noticed my post have been so freaking eventful if you get what i mean. [Happy birthday daddy and then happy mothers' day, oh boring!] Woke up tweeeenie(k, i just invented this word, sue me.) early this morning, got our asses out of the house at around 10am and headed for Junction 8's Crystal Jade, a get together with a whole bunch of relatives for Mothers' day. Their service was so freaking good, i tell you! Its that great that i'd rather do self-service, seriously! I dont know whether izzit me or what lah, but then i seriously cannot stand the waitresss' attitude. She gave us this, "Oh, i'm trying my best to be nice while being extremely busy, dont blame me cause i'm busy and i'm busy!" I mean cmon, we dont pay 10% for nothing! You're super busy during peak hour? Too bad for you, you're still suppose to give us some of your short span attention and obviously should not give us that oh its all your fault that i'm so so so busy shit! I dont mind slow yet friendly and nice service lor, but she keep using that irritated tone of hers! Which irritate the helll outta me. D: i'm easily irritated today.

D: Everyone bought something today except me! AND I WAS THE ONE WHO WENT THERE WANTING TO BUY SOMETHING(!!!!!!) Nevermind, i shall get them all nextweek! Whatever they are gonna be^^ Oh yay yay comics day is tomorrow! I'm so happy so happy, i miss tenchi so much! On the darker side, there'll be debriefs tomorrow too and maybe some chinese Os tryout test(?) which i'm so not looking forward to D:

And and and why why why nobody fell for my short emo post?! I'm suppose to be suffering from some incurable illness and you people are suppose to be concern then i'll scream GOTCHA right in your face! D: Why didnt anyone fall for my drama! WHY WHY WHY!

/EMO.

2008-05-09T23:13:00.008+08:00

Life's full of ups and downs. When one reaches ones extreme low, human who mastered the wonderful skill of self-denial tend to go on consoling oneself with stuffs like

"At least it cant get any worst. Well, it wont, hopefully."

I guess its time i say that to myself. Pathetic i may seem but just wish me luck.

Expect the unexpected in life. How fucking cliche yet so undeniable huh? Yummy, i so love contradiction.

2008-05-09T00:05:00.003+08:00

Happy birthday daddy! I'm sorry for being such a heck-care daughter who've shown not much concern over pretty much everything which have been happening at home. Whether is it some minor thing or even important ones, whether does it affect me or whether how meaningful is it to you guys. I'm sure you'll never read this but i just want to convince myself that i do care, even though my actions seems to show that i cant be bothered with things, thats not true. Its not, really. Sometimes i just dont know how to express myself. I'm not those who can say "Morning, dad." or "Goodnight, mum." to show care, respect or love. I just cant bring myself to do that, it seems so..fake and just so unlike me. Sorry for being the stupid bad tempted girl who's pmsing all the time. Thanks for all the little things both you and mum have been doing for me. Whether is it giving extra allowance just because its the beginning of the exams or always fetching me back home when i'm not going out, even when you're really busy with your work to constantly buying of that breaktalk tart just because i love it so much or forcing me to visit the doctor because of the stupid undying cough. Or giving me all the things i want and taking notice of just some stupid little comment of mine. Somethings used to make me think lifes' unfair, but i guess its not that true afterall.

I'm sorry for being such a bad daughter, sister and even friend. Blame it on pms/moodswing okay! -Pushes blame-

So mye's over and this is all i've been wanting and longing for! But i've been constantly reminded about the fact that chinese Os is like in a few weeks time, ah well. I'm sure meow meow is equiped with magic powers that is able to transform us into As students! I BELEIVE IN MEOW MEOW. Aheeeem, yuck. Been long since the tag's last replied huh. Oh gosh, its waaaaaaay back.

sihua; hey yo this is way back ha.
swanser; and i'm replying for the sake of it!
elaine; you go complain me first one lo, suckeeeer.
pas; yeah, thats my gang's secret hideout, no bitch allowed!-shoo fat away-
bnd; which one do you bear to part with?
weimei; hey there back at ya!
alvin; LOL, yup. sec1 lurbberzxzx sia you.
LOL; ^^V my friend also chungchengmain ley!
swanser; style, my dear, style. you've got bad taste, tsk!
Dion; sorry for the late update, relinked:D!
elaine;^^ hchc rock!
sihua;lawl, urhmm!
swanser; haha, hchc cooler than you lor.
yijie; yoooozzzz!
xiaohui; this is cool okay! HA.
mrdunno; harhar, relinked!
sihua; sneak in sneak it! have been awhile huh!
elaine; and you're always very irritating all the time:D
mrdunno; hi there, i'm from rgs! HAHHAHA.
elaine; i dare to trick you because you're a bitch!
jerrad; i look cool and emo okay!
pas; and you're bimbotic to the B.I.M.B.O.T.I.C bimbotic!
tRolL3d; it havent always been ikea! yeah tan jingying LOL.
bnd; if i havent got a life, i wonder what about you!
alvin; dont want, hc is cooler than you!
sihua; LOL, he got his ahem sec1!
elaine; thanks for your urhm, encouragement(?)
reneee; hey yo:D haha thanks!
elaine; a dead blog a dead one.
alvin; ha, thanks.
sihua; his sec1 lahhhhhh! HA.
swanser; i want my hc please! go away lah, stupid YELLOW/BLACK/WHITE. you're so in love with colours huh:D

Someone please try to get the hc shit out of me, i dont wanna keep it inside.
Take that, its a chance(?)

2008-05-04T14:43:00.004+08:00

I LOVE EGEOG I LOVE AMATHS I LOVE PHYSICS I LOVE BIO!

Reallllllllllllllly, ahem.

Omggggg, i want comics! Cant wait for thurday, cant wait cant wait!

2008-04-18T19:49:00.005+08:00

Self-comforting is getting me no where.

The rest probably have yet to start preparing for mye which actually is starting four days later(!!) Yeah right.

Self-denial is getting me nowhere too.

Its alright, theres still time and i'd beable to make it. Hmmm.

Thats it, i'm officially screwing my midyear up. Period. I cannot concentrate at all because i keep stressing myself up and then i end up trying to chill by taking a breaaaaaak and then the cycle goes on and on and on. I cant bear to settle down at all, omgosh. Omgosh, omgosh is gay and qianbian! Okaaaay, this.is.not.working and I'M SO DEAD. OMG OMGZZZ OMGOSH OMGOSHZZZ! And now i'm blogging and forumming. Very very smart, jasmine. Oh yes, oh yes! Nubs in cchms are such suckers and losers, like seriously. Go learn how not to contradict yourself and then making a fool out of yourselves first okay! Please come argue with me again, two years later, when you guys can hopefully get as tall as me D: Ha ha ha, i dont have to think twice before shooting you off, yet you have to think twice, thrice or even four times to retaliate us, i feel so so so proud of you guys.

/Suans

HAHAHA, SO FUN LAH KPING NOOBS. But i have yet to recover from the shock that noobs are so unbelievable D: I shall not crap that much, i know its boring. Cant help it. Mye mye mye omg omg omg!

So i guess i'll never do tag replies any sooon!

That damn dream felt so real that its scaring me.

2008-04-11T18:53:00.004+08:00

Random facts

-Hchc is very the coolzzz.
-D: I still want n76!
-Its been two weeks since i last updated.
-And two weeks later will be mye and as usual I've yet to start a single shit.
-Hypermart should really change its name to cheapskatemart, but that will sound really really cheap.
-Using school's computer with lousy keyboard is unbearable but better than nothing. We didnt slack okay!
-Life without sap actually rocks. Remove that useless thing now now now!
-Apparently mrsooon remember i'm the one who ran away from him with shirt out.
-Actually it was more like walking, not running!
-My dad is irritating.
-Theres a jap wannabe in da house.
-I'm craving for brownies, yes again.
-And i feel fat D: Diet diet diet, die die die!
-Last week's birthday surprise was screwed, as usual.

I'm guessing we're the only dumbasses who actually exposed ourselves and spilled out about our whole plan in detailed to the person we're surprising. Surprise surprise! We were that bad at it, but HA, i guess things turned out pretty alright huh huh huh? Cooking a simple meal was..harder than expected. So.much.harder. Cooked way too much and even had the thought of getting the playground gang to join us.
/abrupt ending.

Okay, so i officially lost interest in blogging. lalala dumb dumb pictures which were printed for our qianbian card@ikea where we got bitch her not so practical yet not as useless as fake food, star(!!) lightning/wall deco. Anything related to stars are very very pretty okay! We should go there and spam emo/dumb pictures again and print them out with bitch's face, ha ha ha. Oh, by the way it was jingying's birthday.
/qianbian.

Shush, i like my emo photo the most okay!

2008-03-28T20:55:00.003+08:00

I shall blog about today next week and you'll know the reason..... next week too!

2008-03-27T11:44:00.012+08:00

yo people! ohohoh its been long since i last said yooozzz after being so in love with heykonkon, wasnt it? no caps for first letter cause i dont feel like it.
/sick.
alright, i'm here to express the hate towards the very very lurbbbxzz-able meow meow who apparently insist on sending me to detention for low socks and not mentioning pulling my urhmm tucked in shirt out! i.swear.she.pull.uit.out.lo. shes seriously reminding me of yappie! aw, i miss yappie so much, so muych, so much! and also surprisingly, so many people are forced to get their asses detained, ah well mostly nubcakes. aww, i'm so mean but you cant blame the sick one. i know you're sick of reading all these whole detention shit, so am i, sick of typing out these/: so stupid meow meow/any other kpo teachers please do not get me landed on these shit anymore D: and and did i mention that i'm so shocked to hear that the cat i hate is actually specially invited to come and teach us because all her student in her previous school are able to get As for Os?! you can actually imagine how stunned i was! i guess shes so so so depressed because shes sure we'll be her first exception and then her oh-so-prefect reputation will be ruined! she could be a great teacher if she were to nag lesser and scold lesser and stop poking her nose into our affairs. if only she can do so. but then its not possible, i know it!

highest i've reached.
/proud

for once the rain maked me moody. must be the stupid feeeeeeever. this fever is worth two days of mc! i guess i'm so pretty the sick. i feel so bad about being sick, its almost sickening! but but everyones being so nice to me^^ i'm like the princess now ha ha. everyones doing everything for me, even my oldest cousin cooked instand noodles for me at 11pm just because i feel like eating it before i take the ewww yucks medicine and that i got sick of munching on breeeead. a pity that half a bowl of noodle is enough to get me so full that i almost puked out everything while sleeping/: and my aunt gave me half of her yam paste dessert because i'm craving for sweet sweet stuffs. yum yum. but then i still i hate being sick, i'd rather go to school. yes seriously. urhmm, i want mac's hotcake D:

I guess i missed you for a second, like literally. Cause i'm pretty sure i wasnt seeing things. Urhmm, i guess thats fate huh, huh huh huh.